TheEvilWithin

“High on each hilltop around them were massive stone towers, reaching up into the clouds, most still intact, though covered in moss now. Some few of them appeared to be ...

Hey, Evil with a review. (hopefully it will seem more helpful than harsh) First I just want to say that I really don't care for the opening. I'm tired of ...

Evil here. You know the drill "Fingers steepled underneath a prominent chin, and Mr. Rigby leaned forward. “We have to discuss options now, of course.”" --This is very awkwardly phrased. ...

Hey, Evil with a review "The rain fell in torrents outside the window, turning the world beyond into a haze of grey. The only spot of colour was the climbing ...

" they children learn to respect all people no matter how different they are" --The children. Or even just "children" "In Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, younger characters are ...

Hello "He turned his eyes, enlightened, to the events of below. He watched. Below the fires of the earth were reeling against the trees, fighting along the natural coasts of ...

Hello. This was very well written so any comments I have are nitpicks "Dancing red dots shimmered as the light dimmed and revealed a small train station" --I didn't much ...

Hey. I usually just annotate the story using my initial thoughts. I hope I don't come across as harsh. I'm just letting you know what I'm thinking as your reader. ...

Taylor sauntered into her first-period History class. Another chick? Clumps of students sat on desks and socialized. Taylor sat down and took out a binder labelled History . She put ...

Chapter One: I often find myself wondering how one persons life can go on and yet another persons can't. Is it really fair that Annie died before she had a ...

Prologue: The door creaked open and Annie tiptoed across the floor. She began poking my arm trying to wake me up, even though I was already awake. The first sentence ...

Hello, Evil here. I'll be reviewing you again. Lauren hopped I am always taken out of the story when I read the word 'hopped' in this context. People don't actually ...

Hello, Evil here! I will be reviewing your work today. ^_^ Megan Walsh balanced her Prada tote on her arm while she flipped open her cell phone. I didn't know ...

As the sun set into the horizon and the waves flapped gently against the side of the dock, I don't like this. It's setting a pretty big scene, but the ...

Nice idea you have here. I quite liked this scene. I wasn't actually going to post because I didn't have anything specific I wanted to say, but then I found ...