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Re: LWR Characters: Jay Harrison
Hello, love :) Aurora here with a quick review for you :). Alright, let's get started. A little grammatical error I noticed: In the story, however, his ‘dark’ side is ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Falling Deep- Chapter Four
Hello, love! Aurora here for a quick review! I haven't read the previous chapters, but I'll do my best on this one. Alright. I didn't find any grammatical errors, so ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Bad guys for Heat Fighter~ Vane
Hey, love! Aurora here for a quick review ;). Alright. When you say the symbol of a devil, what symbol? Make sure you know this. Also, what are her weaknesses? ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Same Pain
Hello, love! Aurora here for a quick review! Nit picks first, if you don't mind :). Mom was sick, there was nothing that could be done to cure her. Mom ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Chapter 8: The Classes
Hello, love! Aurora here for a review! That last line was SO for me. :) Nitpicks first: I don’t know what, but something about her freaks me out. Maybe it’s ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Ten-Four
Hello, love. Aurora here with a quick review for you :)! Nitpicks first, so that I can get then out of the way. Just one thing, really. YOu change 1624 ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: A Porcelain Lullaby [Chapter Four]
Hello, love! Aurora here with yet another review for you. Ohmygosh, that ending. Just... I need more! And Mandy and Adam... they're so CUTE together! The only thing that strikes ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: A Porcelain Lullaby [Chapter Three]
Hello, love! Aurora here for a quick review! I feel so bad for Adam that his parents left him!!! You wrote his feelings so well! His feelings had risen as ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: A Porcelain Lullaby [Chapter Two]
Hello, love! Aurora here for a quick review. A couple nitpicks: Operating the trawling nets was not so difficult, and that was all Adam had to do: stand at the ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: A Porcelain Lullaby [Chapter One]
Hello, love! Aurora here for a quick review! I'm not going to point out your grammatical errors; rather, I'm going to talk about your story itself. You've got some plot ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Rifted - Chapter VIII - Call of the Horn II
Hello, love! Aurora here with a helpful review for you :). Nitpicks first :). Leaning in closely to it, I fixed it with a stared Stared should be 'stare', I ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Rifted - Chapter VII - Fallings Apart
Hello, love! Aurora here with a quick review for you! Upon the wind his wings beat sorrow into the stars. This is a great line for a poem. In a ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Strangled Words
Hello, love! Aurora here for a quick review! I think you did a good job with this poem. I'm clutching my ideas in my hand I especially like the way ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: Ultramarine Idiot
Hello love! Aurora here for a quick review! I like this poem. It's very interesting, to say the least. When I read the line that says, "I'm black and blue', ...
Jul 1, 2014 -
Re: BPD (Better Person Defeated)
Hello, love! Aurora here for a quick review! I like your use of many adjectives here. A critique I have for you is that you should consider changing either obsoleted ...
Jul 1, 2014