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Re: Run, Fat Boy, Run! Day 2
This is really simple writing, which is good. It makes the story really good, taking into account that you're able to create an interesting environment and a fascinating character...all which ...
Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:39 am -
Re: hIPPE
Sorry everyone. I just realized. There's part of this story that won't make sense: aka the part with the guy and the lightning bolt. Sorry. This story may be continued, ...
Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:41 am -
Re: The Theme Generator Sagas
I agree. And I also LOVE the generator! Some weird stuff like this comes out a lot, yeah, but it's really interesting that way! Oh, FYI, at the end, the ...
Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:22 am -
Re: Project: Inkstorm
I forgot to mention it in the review, but spacing is a big problem. You can't review a story if it's too hard to read.
Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:48 am -
Re: Renaissance Entry 1
Actually, it IS an information sheet! I had to write this for Social Studies, so all the numbers, endless facts and others seriously need to be edited out!
Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:32 pm -
Re: Red Rain
There's a serious amount of proper spacing that needs to get done. I find it hard to critique when it's all in a huge, menacing mass.
Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:17 pm -
Re: The Blood Game
You seem fairly new, and at YWS we have a 2-1 posting ratio. For every two reviews, you post some of your writing. More people will review and critique your ...
Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:36 pm -
Re: Girls rule and boys drool (over her) part 1/2/10
:smt041 :smt040 I thought this was well written. just a few things. You say "to" instead of "too" in the first paragraph. If you want to get something published in ...
Sat May 24, 2008 6:10 pm -
Re: Break-Up.
Good story, kind of graphic.
Sat May 24, 2008 5:54 pm -
Re: Boys. [draft] chapter one.
I think you should elaborate on where Putney is in the beginning. Besides that, good start :smt080
Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:26 pm -
Re: The Queen of Dolls
Whoa that is so... creepy! How old is she? 7, 8?
Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:23 pm -
Re: The beginning of the story
This is a good start. However, it was hard to understand what was going on. Also the writing was too grouped together, which made it hard to read. Another thing ...
Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:15 pm -
Re: A Lone soul
Whoa, that's really creepy. I would hate to be locked up by myself, all alone! Very good words and similies. Creeeeeeepy! Cool I liked it!
Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:48 pm -
Re: A bad person
Cool how "it all started with a can of coke" I like how simple things can become poems and rhymes. Good one. Hope I can read more of what you ...
Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:47 pm -
Re: A bad person
Cool how "it all started with a can of coke" I like how simple things can become poems and rhymes. Good one. Hope I can read more of what you ...
Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:46 pm