Talulahbelle

This is just a wonderful piece. It draws the reader in immediately and I already feel so attached to this character that I havent really even met yet. Could you ...

I love this story (I'm all into birds right now)! Umm...I noticed only a few things... The conversation. There are times when you get into just he said she said. ...

Okay, I'm going to tell you something that these fine young writers have tried to pound into my own skull... SHOW DON'T TELL! When you have too much narration readers ...

You're a little long winded. Cut out some of the overdone adjectives and shorten some sentences. It takes a lot of energy to read this and I just don't have ...

I haven't read the first two chapters but I saw that you didn't have any reviews so I figured I'd try and help. One thing I have a problem with ...

I love it! There are a few typos and there are things I dont understand about the story... I'm sure I would if I read more of it. But overall ...

This is a really interesting story but the main character... Chloe's reaction to all of this happening to her doesnt seem believable. I would have a major freak out, not ...

I like it. The wounded stranger has pulled me in by doing nothing but bleeding. I'm trying to think about critiques bc...well thats waht we're all here for right? I'm ...

I have to say, i agree with all the other guys. The opening has been way over used. Change it up a little. Put all that info into something more ...

I'm really interested in whats happening already but there is one thing that I see that bothers me as i read this. The coversations. Go into more...detail, i guess. Not ...