Talking_Pinata

Lets see. First things first. Clean up the spelling and grammar mistakes! Cant needs a ' between the n and the t so it looks like can't uve is spelled ...

This prologue sparks my intrest (as a prologue should)! Good job. It makes you curious as to what his job EXACTLY is. How do these souls return to their bodies? ...

Oooo! I like. Nothing really for me to pick at that hasn't already been gone over. I like this character! As for suggestions (I'm not too bright on this subject): ...

I don't think everything is SUPPOSED to be clear, is it? I thought it was really good! and eerie. Very eerie, at least for me! I'm sorry for no detailed ...

*nothing to say* *oh no, she's gonna start blabbing* That song was perfect. The sun. And for ME, its eerie, cause it was my lullaby as a child. ANYWAYS. I ...

Couple roughs spots. I swear I tried not to let my emotion get away. But the ending was AMAZING! I think I've found Cabbage in a Tom! XD Sorry. Anyways. ...

WOW! Very good! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PM me when you get more! Hm, no particular thing I found about grammar. I just wanted to point out that sometimes it occured ...

WOW! Good writer you! Spare me of your wonderfulness! (it was really well written) and I like how sophisticated the child sounds, that isn't a problem at all for me. ...

All grammatical things appear to have been covered. *pokes above post* I really agree with most of those, I just can't say it as well as they can. Anyways, this ...

I really liked it! The tension is building. I have a few points to make. When you say "sense" you mean the word: "since" also, towards the bottom where it ...

Wow. I feel the suspense and mystery building. Good job. Every peculiar detail of your characters that normal authors would have left to let the readers think was "corny", you ...

Terrific. One thing. Towards the end it says "“Like always,” She let out another sigh." If I'm not mistaken...I do believe that the SHE should be an I. Just pointing ...

Hello! I decided to return the favor of your critique on my work, so here is my view on it: Weak is spelled WEAK in this... I like this story, ...

I on the other hand from all the other critics, LOVE the idea that the Grandfather and the boy's names are kept hidden until later. It makes it more thought ...