Swiftfur

Hey Tizpi! I just read your story, and I think it's good. But, there are some grammar problems. "No sign of them Officer Dalet." A voice huffed as our force ...

Awesome story! However, it does have a few grammar problems. First of all, leant should be lean. Segond, I noticed that you used the words, "I got". “There's something else ...

Wow! Love it! it's sooo good, it's almost like it's perfect! Sadly though, it's not. First of all, description. What was she wearing? Did she have freckles? Pimples? Does she ...

Wow! Love it! it's sooo good, it's almost like it's perfect! Sadly though, it's not. First of all, description. What was she wearing? Did she have freckles? Pimples? Does she ...

First of all "routine" is spelled wrong. Second, the end is like,bad. You NEVER start a sentence with,"And then," you also missed a lot of capitals. in the beginning, why ...

this poem is really haunting, but in a way, sad. But there are a few parts i didn't get, such as, "Down below, the workers all lined up keep on ...

hmm... not sure what to say about this. I have a few questions though.First of all,what is a change? you never told your reader what a change is. An the ...

Whoa! Waaaaaaaay too much dialogue. I want more description. Where were the in London? What is the main characters name? What were they wearing? What do they look like?How did ...

I loved it! especially the last part about how the moon's pieces were falling around. You're giving the reader that slow motion feeling. The feeling where in the middle, everything ...

First of all, I think it's the start of a great story. But, you might want to revise your beginning a little. Instead of, "I sighed as Camrie told me," ...