SushiSashimi333

Yeah, I must say I struggled to write the beginning too, and I think even the character Max was dying of boredom XD. I shall definitely see what I can ...

This definitely helps. I really wish I could fix the length problem, but there really was nothing more to say. Also I shall go over the thoughts of Cerys again. ...

Oh, I forgot that the italics don't come through when I copy and paste (since I use google docs). I will fix that now, also I didn't really know how ...

oh my, I didn't realize people could read this. I saved it as a draft so it's still in process. Sorry for the confusion.

oh my, I didn't realize people could read this. I saved it as a draft so it's still in process. Sorry for the confusion.

Thanks for the review :) Actually Remy and Avi are supposed to be guys, but this just shows my I should change their names to something more masculine. I think ...

Oh darn! I was a little confused about the italics part until I realized that they didn't show up. Better go edit that. Thanks for the double feedback! I shall ...

Sure! Anytime :)

That's understandable. I overlook so many things that I know whenever I write. The bad part is I hate editing...

That's great! I can't give you advice on how to improve, but since you're older than you were then I think you would be better at critiquing yourself than I ...

Thank you so much for your review! I have many things I need to fix don't I? This chapter will definitely be updated asap, so thank you very much for ...

Yes, your review really does bring to light some things I forgot to mention or accidentally deleted while editing. This review will definitely be used when I edit and when ...

Thanks! ^_^

You're right, the old man is pretty cliche isn't he? I shall get to work on that right away! And thanks for the review :)

Wow! I never noticed that part about the umbilical cord! That shall be changed pronto. I also shall improve upon everything else you said except the paragraph breaks, but that's ...