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Sunshine

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: All There Is

    Here as requested! Sadly, I don't know anything about villanelles. I'll try my best. FLOW! I think the flow of this poem is overall pretty good except for the following: ...

    Jan 4, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Fear intro and chapter 1 part 1

    Here as requested! I'm afraid this will probaly be the only chapter I review. I'm not a fan of 16+ or 18+. I do admire your writing skill though! All ...

    Jan 1, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Trouble on the Homefront - Prologue

    Haha looks like everyone beat me to the nitpicking! Eh, that's ok nitpickying is not my type. You have a good, strong idea but it seems very...rehearsed. It lacks emotion. ...

    Jan 1, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Untitled - Chapter 1

    Yikes! I don't think there's a thing to nitpick left! 1.) I do care. You made it sound VERY interesting. Can't wait for more! 2.) :) That's all I need ...

    Jan 1, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: The Bourreau and the Waltz Dancer - Ch. 1

    Ok, I'm to lazy to click edit on my other 'review' so here I go! I absolutely love the dialougue you have going on here and DON"T change a thing ...

    Jan 1, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Blue Blood Waters

    Yo fiction! Grammar was great and I love the direction this is going in! My only thing is that this should be longer. it seems a bit short. You need ...

    Dec 24, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Stop and Stare (Part 2)

    Well...Not much to nit picky here ,eh, Skinsy. *Thinks about being jealous of Skinsy's fan girls, than realizes she is one.* He. Anyway... ~The Charecters~ Will seems like a fickle ...

    Dec 24, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: The Melancholy Tale of Darren Everrest -- Prologue

    Let me spell it out for you, Incognito. C-L-E-V-E-R! I liked the imagery a lot, the whole fall thing was very interesting and grasps your attention. I don't see how ...

    Dec 19, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Forgotten Who

    Hey, it's me again! Pink is corrections! Who 's needles and hugs Who 's a knife and is hiding behind my back I see the point your trying to get ...

    Dec 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: For my Angel

    Here as requested! (Thanks for that, by the way.) This is a very sweet poem! You wrote it perfectly for the reciever. i think fries got all the nitpicks soo..... ...

    Dec 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Love Alone

    Hey no reason to be THAT nerveous. *Cackles evilly* Haha, nah just kidding with you. We can be very nice, and ALWAYS helpful. Blue is me! With my hand tightly ...

    Dec 11, 2010
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Letting Go and Remembering

    I see you have four likes but no comments, so I decided to comment. I can't find anything wrong but that may be because I'm being pretty emontional right now. ...

    Dec 11, 2010
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: the tale of the tale that was not to be told

    First things first, WHY IS NOTHING CAPITILIZED!!!!!!!! It annoys alot of people here, so please fix it. This isn't a non-fiction. Although your telling it to your brother, It's still ...

    Dec 11, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Cute War of the Ages (PART 2)

    I feel special :) First review and you took my kitty suggestion! That was hilarious! I love it. Not the way I was picturing the kitties, but you made it ...

    Dec 11, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Once upon a time

    Crafty reporting! The overall idea was pretty good but some of the lines totally threw off the flow. And my love would never waver Everything I did These two lines ...

    Dec 8, 2010


Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
— Corey Ford