A/N: This is a new novel I'm working on, and note, this is a very rough copy. This is only the prologue, but I was trying more over to get the impression of the main character's characterization accross. Any input would be loved.
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Prologue:
Pessimism at it's Finest
Autumn is only the name given to the month in which everything is in the midst of dying. Leaves fall dead to the ground, grass fades to yellow, the summer blossoms shrivel to nothing. Birds leave their homes, and animals prepare for the long winter nights in which they will not surface. Death is evident. No longer is life given, no longer is new brought forth. Instead it is the old which are condemned to die.
Autumn is the time of purging the word from its said evils, from its vicious cruelty, and then focuses everyone on one common need. To survive.
This endless cycle of seasons never changes. It is the same thing, over and over again; it is the solemn security in my life. For just as the season cycle is endless, such is as it appears to be my fate.
But everything has an ending, no matter how far away that might be, or how impossible it might seem. Nothing can keep going on forever. Everything in the end dies, everything in the end is not existent. For the end is the end.
Yes, I know, this is a morbid way to begin a story. For surely, you do not want to listen to the repeated woes of how lowly and horrible this world is and the people in it. Or how everything dies and never can be brought back. Such horrible writing indeed! Where is the happiness? Where is the good highlights? Even if this story is to be a tragedy there has to be happiness indeed! Surely, it could be no other way! To truly experience loss you must know what it felt like before such an event happened!
But to do that, to say that everything was fine and dandy and then, all of a sudden, it was the end of the world; would be lies. I am honest. That is one thing I know for sure. I value my honesty. When people ask me if everything will be alright, if they should look forward to the future, I can not bring myself to say that indeed it is so. To me, the future is what you make of it, whether it be for good or for worse. It is only you who can make it better for yourself in the end, nobody else.
But of course, in the end, there is nothing, so why even try?
And this brings me in full circle, back to my reflection on the miserable and hopeless autumn. For autumn, is the beginning of the end. Everyone knows the end is coming, that winter is going to swoop in and kill everything, chase the birds from their homes, and kill all the beautiful greenery. Why try to prevent such a thing from happening, why do animals prepare for the winter and hide away in small covens? It is winter after all! It is the end!
They do it because you never know if spring is right around the corner. You never know if it is truly the end, or even if after the end, there is the beginning of something new. In those dark, solemn, lonely caves, those animals only think of if spring comes, how happy they will be once more. And that is what is called hope.
See! There is the friendly happiness back once more! There is the cheerful disposition we missed! Actually no. To me, optimism is worse then pessimism. For you can hope for something with all your heart, but that doesn’t mean that it will actually happen. Just because you wish for something, doesn’t mean you will always get it. And that means that you will only get your heartbroken if what you hoped for doesn’t fall through. If you fail in something you were hoping to be successful in, it only makes the failure seem even more daunting. Hope is a horrible and dishonest thing.
Logic. Reason. Statistics. They are the things I rely on. Let me spell it out for you people. R-E-A-L-I-T-Y. Shit happens. C’est la vie. Such is life. Hope only makes you be harder on yourself in a world that is already much to harsh.
Trust me, I have been around long enough to know what I’m talking about. Listen to me when I try to tell you to just accept what you are given, and be grateful if you are given any more. The end of the world is around the corner. You don’t have enough time to dream of things that will never happen.
And that is the purpose of this whole story. I wrote this all down for a reason, don’t you worry. If you don’t agree with me at the moment, just read on and maybe you might. If you don’t after all this is finished, then good for you. Good luck with your false aspirations. I wont ever judge you.
Mr. D. Everrest
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~Incognito
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Let me spell it out for you, Incognito. C-L-E-V-E-R! I liked the imagery a lot, the whole fall thing was very interesting and grasps your attention. I don't see how this is a "Very rough copy." It's amazing for a rough draft. My guess is he's French. His words seem incredibly distingushed. If not, try and balance them out more modernly.
I won#40BF00 ">'t ever judge you.
Ha ha. just saw you forgot that. I do agree with elephantwalrus, on this:
Let me spell it out for you people. R-E-A-L-I-T-Y. Shit happens
That doesn't seem right with his other dialougue.
[quote]Sincerely,
Mr. D. Everrest[quote]
Why does he sign it Mr. D Everrest? Why wouldn't he put his real name? Just a question to ponder. Also, I checked out the summary. Seemed vague and not very interesting. To him, it seemsthe world is ending. Put that. It's interesting!
Overall, I liked it a lot and would appreciate if you contacted me with the first chapter!
I can honestly say I loved reading this right through into the end. Your imagery is beautiful, the narrator kept my interest, and your introduction kept me intrigued. Your ending I really enjoyed.
I can't really explain why I like it--possibly because the narrator is someone I feel I could really meet somewhere or because it reminds me very much of Lemony Snicket's thinking--but I really, really liked it. I liked all of it.
I cannot find many errors in this, except maybe a few surface errors with commas and semicolons, but nothing alarmingly offensive. I would use less exclamation points, but that's just my own tastes.
I applaud you on your excellent prologue. I will gladly read the rest of this once (or if) it's available.
Cheers, my friend!
Hi there,
He sounds more like a sarcastic teenager in this bit than a distinguished person who wants to communicate something of somber importance. My advise would be to cut it and skip to the french, because french is classierAt first, I didn't like how reflexive this piece was, meaning I didn't like how the narrator addresses himself and the audience. At the end, when I realized it was a letter, it made more sense; adding an opening line to some specific person, or even the general reader, instead of the title "Pessimism at its finest," would help reduce that confusion.
I like how you use seasons to describe Everrest's melancholy. It's an appropriate image. The method of description that you use is classic and I like it, but you have to make sure you stay in character the whole time. The following line was completely out-of-character, in my opinion, for Everrest's style:
My other piece of advice is to work more on this paragraph: I'm going to pick this one apart a little bit, because this is a turning point in this prologue, and the transition could be a lot smoother. First, I would not acknowledge that it is a morbid way to begin a story. From Everrest's perspective, it's not morbid at all, just reality. The way he goes on and on about how much people don't want to hear the real way the world works threatens turn off the reader, because he's right: people don't like to look at death in the eye without a purpose for doing so. My advise would be keep referring to "where is the happiness in this world," but cut out "this is horrible writing and no one wants to read it."
Thanks for sharing this piece! Good luck with your novel, and let me know if you have any questions!