Love Alone

Loved this peice, you've captured the innocence and perfection of first love - or at least that's the idea you appeared to be trying to put across - how consuming, how breathtaking it is to be falling that hard, even if it turns out just to be an ideal in the end. Your peice centered more on emotion than on anything that did or did not take place, I thought it was well done. Beautiful portrayal of your feelings.

With my hand tightly grasping the door knob, I like this line and how it says "I'm anxious" without actually saying it
I ponder what awaits beyond it.
A spacious room filled with light and warmth,
where opportunities linger in every corner.
Him; with arms wide open.
the smile i have etched on the back of my eyelids,
gracing his face. This line could use a little more description about the guy!

The sign over the door says love in bold bright letters. < Love this. Nice symbolism!!!
My heart beats a mile a minute,
as I turn the door knob.
The sight before me is one I never imagined.
A small and drafty room,
no windows to shed light or warmth.
Cobwebs fill each corner.
The arms I so longed for are no where to be found.

I was so sure this was it.
Finally felt safe enough,
to search for this room in this great building of life.
Call me naive if you will,
I gave away all that I am.
But now it's in love alone I stand.

I liked the concept of this poem a lot, and it's pretty good for your first post! However I didn't really like the "in this great building of life" for some reason. It just didn't fit for me. Keep up the good work though!

Hey no reason to be THAT nerveous. *Cackles evilly* Haha, nah just kidding with you. We can be very nice, and ALWAYS helpful. Blue is me!

With my hand tightly grasping the door knob,
I ponder what awaits beyond it.
A spacious room filled with light and warmth,Amazing vocab!
where opportunities linger in every corner.
Him; with arms wide open.
the smile I have etched on the back of my eyelids,
gracing his face. Use a bit more description here. Is he handsome, sweet, or maybe tan?



The sign over the door says love in bold bright letters. Love this line! *Steals!*
My heart beats a mile a minute,
as I turn the door knob.This messes with the flow a bit. Add Waiting to the end of this. It may help
The sight before me is one I never imagined.
A small and drafty room,
no windows to shed light or warmth.
Cobwebs fill each corner.
The arms I so longed for are no where to be found.
Sad

OVERALL

Don't worry yorself! This was a great first poem. The flow was decent and as I said AMAZING VOCAB!!! You picked a good subject to do a poem on and I can't wait to see more!

No reason to be nervous . I would do a full review, but I'm a little tired, so I just want to say its amazing keep the good work up.