Stori

Well... I'm not sure what's going on. At first I thought you meant Anakin Skywalker. You might want to clear that up. And when is this set? I'm not sure.

Hmm... Can't say FF 8 is one of my favorites. I guess that's because I've never played. I like 9 and 10, as well as Crystal Chronicles. Anyway, I'll read ...

IMHO, don't end with questions. End with something like, "The Faries are gearing up for war..." Or something like that.

Ai-ya-yai, that's a mess! You keep getting the tenses mixed up. Just look at the introduction of the "voice."

Wow! I love the rythem. My brother fences, so he'd like this too. One qualm I had: you should break it up into stanzas. That would help the flow.

Five stars to you! A great poem as well as an example of free verse.

You know, I read "Things not Seen" by Andrew Clements. He used an effective technique. "It's what I see. It's what I don't see. I'm not there. I'm. Not. There." ...

I liked how you said, "Enough words to describe hills and leaves stretching past Heaven." Great imagery. The whole thing was well done. I think there was a contest... Is ...

It was a good piece. You need to explain more about the "Burners" though. What are they? Do they breathe air? Also, I think you need to break up the ...

Well, if there was an epic poetry section, this would go in it. The rhyming was good if a little forced. I liked the part about Lucifer.

Oh boy. You got your eras mixed up. A neon sign over the bar, but the customers carry spears?

Great job, it's not stupid at all. Keep up the good work.

What do you mean, switched to third person? I can't spot a mistake.

Gads, you have to be at leas 20! Nobody but an adult would write that.

I think this has potential. It's well written and the pace is all right. I do agree that you should give the characters more detail.