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Hi, Kyll! I only have one or two points, so this won't be a proper review. (That's because it's darned near perfect.) As I am blowing feeling back into my ...

Hello; I'm here to review your work. First of all, when does this chapter take place? It's rather jarring to go from the restaurant to Sadie's house, presumably sometime later ...

Note: This review has been deleted
Hello; I'm here to review your work. First of all, when does this chapter take place? It's rather jarring to go from the restaurant to Sadie's house, presumably sometime later ...

Thanks, Soulful.

Yes, I meant to write "forgat" and it's a misspelling of "forgot". I dashed this off in a minute and wanted to share it. ;)

Yes, I meant to write "forgat" and it's a misspelling of "forgot". I dashed this off in a minute and wanted to share it. ;)

Thanks for your kind words. I'd also like to address the next scene. Natalie returns home and we cut to the next scene. I want to show that the whole ...

Okay, this isn't an official review. I just want to remark on something. You've stated that it's now a law: people must be in bed "as early as 6:30". That ...

Could you mention what kind of ride it is, at least? it seems like a roller coaster, but then accidents can happen even on a Ferris wheel...

It was my pleasure.

Yes, it's meant to be a song. That's just all he wrote- so far. :)

Just have one little nitpick here: She comes at me at the dining table Usually to come at someone means to rush them, as if they're fighting. Did you perhaps ...

Hi. Could a recommend you a book?

Thanks. About the tune- I wrote this after listening to "Three Hearts as One" by Malukah. Check it out; she writes and sings beautifully.

Thanks, Dazzle! I've been told many a time that my description is lacking (and it's true), so your comment was a real pick-me-up.