Squall

This was ok. The problem with is was that it somewhat lacked descriptions in terms of the background. You had it in some places but I wasn't really painting a ...

Hi there. I've read your welcome and I'm glad you have such a fancy for fantasy. I hope you're a fan of Final Fantasy. Onwards to my critique. To me, ...

Oh my god! I love this. You used the right amout of description to allow us to be able picture the scene. And hell, it is like Final Fantasy lol. ...

Hahahah. I like ideas in this story. Hacking wizards...lol. It was also quite funny in some bits and made me want to read more. Now for the bad stuff. You ...

I liked the ideas portrayed in this. It has this mystery element that drove me to read on. I didn't expect beads to have that kind of effect haha. You ...

I liked the flow of this story. It was simple and easy to understand. The ideas in this story were similar to some of the asian soaps that I've watched. ...

Hrmm this was quite well written. It's similar to how I write and so I followed it easily. Good job on that. I think I need to read the other ...

I actually quite like this. I liked how you use simple words to portray the deeper emotions of the character. It was done very well. I think you told us ...

I think this was well written. You managed to balance description and the emotion of the characters well. Dialogue wise, it was good but could be a bit better. The ...

Hrmm I actually quite enjoyed this for a fanfic. The dialogue you used suited the characters well. You portrayed the villains and the heroes of HP well in this. What ...

Hrmm I quite liked your descriptions in this chapter. I can see the characters quite clearly. Lacks some scenary descriptions though. Nothing really much happened too. It seems a bit ...

Hi there. I don't really like army/war kind of stuff. But the way you've written it, I read it word by word. For a strange reason, I'm somewhat interested in ...

I actually quite like this. There was a good combination of description and I like the feelings you conveyed of the character. For a bar in the city, you described ...

Hi Amanda, remember me? lol Anyways, onto my crit. I noticed you've repeated some thoughts of the girl several times in the piece. It kinda put me off a bit. ...

I didn't get scared by this (happens when you've been desensatized by video games lol). However I thought it was quite interesting and original. The way you worded the story ...