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Re: Moon Shadows
Hey Mist! Sporks here as requested. :] I'm going to start off by correcting anything grammar related I see. :D Red is punctuation and such, green is word choice, and ...
Sep 10, 2010 -
Re: Leviathan - Brief Prologue
Hi and welcome to YWS! I'll just take the time to point out that you don't really need to beg for critiques. :) People will find your piece, like I ...
Sep 9, 2010 -
Re: The Funeral
Hi! I'll be reviewing this today. As for your theme, unfortunately I've not had enough experience, so I'm not going to review it from that angle. I have a couple ...
Sep 7, 2010 -
Re: Missing (1)
Hi austenite! I was intrigued by both pieces, so I'm here to review as requested. Grammar My bedroom was at the front of the house, and last summer, in a ...
Sep 3, 2010 -
Re: Willow Creek 1.1
Hi austenite! Here to review as requested. :D So, my reviews work like this: Grammar, then plot, then overall. Let's begin. Grammar: While your grammar is mostly great, I have ...
Sep 3, 2010 -
Re: deleted
Hi there, blackbird! Here as requested. Grammar: The diamond necklace was like broken glass in her hands, exuding some harsh innate gleam. I think a comma after harsh would be ...
Sep 2, 2010 -
Re: Bestial Conflict - Chapter 1 - Revised
Kyou! It's me again, here as requested! :D First, before I truly begin, thanks for having me read this again. I feel like you found my review really helpful, which ...
Sep 2, 2010 -
Re: ??!? -_-
Hi! Welcome to YWS! I'm going to try my hand at reviewing this. I can't really critique syntax or grammar because, well, the poem is essentially onomatopoeia. As interesting as ...
Sep 2, 2010 -
Re: The artist and the surgeon.
Hi! SporkPunk here to review your work. :D I'm still new to reviewing poems, so I apologize if any of this is off. :D I'm not going to go through ...
Sep 2, 2010 -
Re: Sommers' Crash prologue
Hi! Sporks here to review. :D Grammar: I didn't really find anything, though I am going to be extremely nitpicky for a second: “Her name’s Rachel, she’s pretty wild if ...
Sep 2, 2010 -
Re: A Scripted Remembrance
Hiya peanut! SporkPunk here to review your work. :] Red is grammar, green is word choice, and purple is my commentary. My fingertips tingle as they drum against the script. ...
Sep 2, 2010 -
Re: Deleted.. :(
Hi, I'm Sporks and I'll join this group of reviewing, as I saw this on Featured Works and was intrigued. I must admit, this is the most rough...unedited piece I've ...
Aug 31, 2010 -
Re: The Kirja (Chapter Two)
Hi! It's me again. :D I'm going to be as thorough as possible with this review. I still find quite a few grammatical errors, a good way to combat that ...
Aug 30, 2010 -
Re: The Kirja (Chapter One)
Hm. This isn't bad. :] Grammar: I have a few nitpicks here, but I'm not going to tear your piece apart. I'll just give you some examples of things I ...
Aug 28, 2010 -
Re: Summer Nights
I really liked this. :D I think, like the reviewer before me, you could make it not-lacking by adding a stanza or so. I don't have much to nitpick, because ...
Aug 28, 2010
