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Re: The Descent Chapter 4: Muscle Spasms Part 2
Hey, Dark Raven. One of the down sides of keeping the name being swapped back and forth, like Deanie mentions, is sometimes its down right difficult to understand what is ...
Mar 5, 2015 -
Re: The Descent Chapter 4: Muscle Spasms Part 1
Hello, Dark Raven! Alright, so there's this one accident that's always, always, always being mentioned, but I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what's happened. So, yes, this ...
Mar 5, 2015 -
Re: The Descent Chapter 3: Reborn Part 2
Hello again, Dark Raven! Whoa. The very fist thing that I noticed was how it didn't flow with the last part, especially because I just read it. What happened to ...
Mar 5, 2015 -
Re: The Descent Chapter 3: Reborn Part 1
Hello, Dark Raven! This story just gets harder and harder to review. And this also feels like one of those transition parts in the middle of a chapter, which isn't ...
Mar 5, 2015 -
Re: The Descent Chapter 2: Hit-Girl Returns Part 2
Hello again, Dark Raven. This is one of those chapters that I have no doubt in making the right decision to go back and reread the rest of the novel. ...
Mar 4, 2015 -
Re: The Descent Chapter 2: Hit-Girl Returns Part 1
Hey, Dark Raven! Just so I won't forget, I'm going to start off with some nitty-gritty stuff. I took off the brownish jacket, looked at it. Once again, this is ...
Mar 4, 2015 -
Re: The Descent Chapter 1: Picture of a Pink Unicorn Part 2
Yep. I knew it was Mindy. Hey, Dark Raven! Tiny nitpick, pointed out earlier as well ~ ... full well how she was like even before she even tried to ...
Mar 4, 2015 -
Re: The Descent Chapter 1: Picture of a Pink Unicorn Part 1
Hey again, Dark Raven! I hope you don't mind me pulling this up out of the grave. I rather enjoyed your later parts, and a story doesn't make much sense ...
Mar 4, 2015 -
Re: The Royal Mystic
Hello there, rocky! Weclome to the site! Alright, so this is a really rather short part of the start of probably a really large novel. :P Just from everything you've ...
Mar 4, 2015 -
Re: Flaming Embers By PatriciaB
Hey there, Patricia! Welcome to the wonderful world of YWS~ Ah, so this reminds me all too well of my own new days on here. So, this was an interesting ...
Mar 4, 2015 -
Re: The Apple
Hey, Elder. One thing I enjoyed about this story is how you intertwined the biblical tale of the Garden of Eden into a much more modern sense, and it wasn't ...
Mar 3, 2015 -
Re: Simon Birch
Hello there. So, this was a pretty nice story, and an interesting read. You've got a solid start and a good direction to go in, but there are some pretty ...
Mar 3, 2015 -
Re: English: Entry 1
Hello again, Inked. Here we go starting to get into more of the conflict, but everything is just dumped right on our heads and I'm left floundering trying to figure ...
Mar 3, 2015 -
Re: English: Intro
Hello there. Alright, I'm a little confused in the start of it, but it's not your writing, just the concept. I'm all for the idea of a novel being created ...
Mar 3, 2015 -
Re: "The Witnesses of Death" Revised Pt 2-2
Hey, again! Boy, do I know about having to split up short stories in the worst places, so I won't pick on that too much, so I'll assume it was ...
Mar 2, 2015