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SpencerNolanRivers

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Shoulda Been Simple: Chapter One

    There's some grammar errors here and there, but I didn't really feel like pointing them out. Maybe, if you went over the story you will find them and correct them. ...

    Jun 25, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: I'm Yours

    I had never really expected anything to happen between my best friend Carl and I . That fixes the sentence. I thought would be a train wreck waitin g to ...

    Jun 24, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Night I Set the Sky on Fire

    I loved this story. I was planning on critiquing some grammar and everything, but nothing. Your piece is nearly flawless, I would say. I also loved the imagery you've used. ...

    Jun 24, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Leather and Lace - Chapter Two

    Cupcake is a thirteen-year-old girl not much taller than me with green hair , pale skin , and long eyelashes over purple eyes. There should a comma between "Hair," "Pale" ...

    Jun 24, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Leather and Lace - Chapter One

    “I am not a ‘kiddo,’” I retort . It is best to just say "Said." “Right. You’re what, 9 or 10? You’re a big girl now?” he questions, "He" should ...

    Jun 23, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Peace, Love, and California

    " You are the only person that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time " - The Hot Chick If you are trying to convey ...

    May 31, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Inside the Mind of a 7-year-old Romantic

    "Umm, I think Genevieve is here." I said to my teacher , Mrs. Martin. There should be a comma inbetween "Teacher" and "Mrs. Martin." "Honey, Genevieve doesn't come 'till the ...

    May 30, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Canned Peaches and Paper Sacks

    I had wanted the same faraway paradise , u ntil Dad got sick. "Hello, Becca. Welcome home , " a nd then, "No , u ntil Wednesday." she had missed ...

    May 30, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Saved

    "Ian , I can't get down!" Kali yelled from the highest branch of the oak tree. "I need to walk now. Please , Ian, you know I can't run as ...

    May 30, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Last Tuesday

    This was good, though I do not exactly understand the ending. Is the person the main character is in love with dead or non-existant? The beginning was very good and ...

    May 30, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: The End

    Prom and my date is Matt, who is also my best friend.. I nearly fell asleep of that it felt so good. Running my hands through my dark shaggy emo ...

    May 29, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: A Single Flaw

    S’okay,” I sputter, chugging down my glass of water, which being the only part of the meal that isn’t completely revolting. I close my eyes just a few seconds before ...

    May 29, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Peace, Love, and California

    It was a strange feeling knowing your wouldn’t be seeing your friends most of the summer ; the friends that you've spent almost every waking moment with, the ones that ...

    May 29, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Crash

    The noise of crunching metal, the stench of burning rubber, the taste of noxious fumes in the air. I could see the clouds of white smoke rising up in front ...

    Feb 4, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Suicide Note

    Not my best ever, but I needed to post something with all these points! Just kidding. Please review! My Dearest Mother, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you have to bear ...

    Feb 4, 2009


I'm getting nachos~
— BluesClues