Snoink

Contact a mod instead of posting this. *Locked*

Major edits done! Anybody want to read and review? I give [s]cookies[/s] points. :)

*sighs* This is locked, for good this time. Next time you want to post a piece, please don't insult your critiquers.

*Moved to Fantasy Fiction*

Don't argue over critiques. Go back to topic, please.

I'm locking this. Xena, PM me if you want it unlocked. We need to talk.

Back on topic, guys.

I have read it, several times. Not once do you explain what a puppy mill is. So you're going to want to include this in your work. ;)

This thread is about critiquing the speech and is not for debating. Please stick to the topic.

...er, why is somebody reviving this obviously great piece of literature? *Locked*

***Locked by request of author***

*Locked*

Much closer! :D This critique will probably be shorter, since you are definitely improving, and probably with less helpful advice, because as you get closer to writing a solid poem, ...

Aha! It's been edited! :D You're closer to achieving the effect you want, actually. Let's look at the poem, shall we? ;) I am afraid for my life. My father ...

Hahaha... teachers are so funny! But whatever. And... an eighth grade class isn't exactly the best judge on what poetry is and what isn't, lol. One of our best poets ...