Snoink

Wait, are you saying that Americans are considered to be happy-go-lucky people? That's pretty hilarious! I always thought we were considered assholes by other countries... probably because of our stub

Griffypoo! Just one thing about your edit: In luctus pellentesque imperdiet. Aliquam arcu nisi, feugiat in interdum sed, sollicitudin in magna." I would replace the period with a double hyphen. ...

Sweet! I moved it for you. If you need any more help, just bug me or the people with green usernames. We can totally help you. :)

*Locked*

Now you don't know they're zombies, really. The imagery isn't really as evocative of it now, since it doesn't use the typical cliches associated with zombies. Also, the second line ...

Maybe something with a little more... gory glory? I keep on thinking of awful things, like "half-eaten leg" or something else similarly disgusting, because I'm a terrible person. XD Now ...

Yay! Better! :D This is completely nit-picky, but I had a problem with this: Dragging their dead limbs behind, They're coming for me. Too much of the same sound! So, ...

*Moved to Novels section, at author's request*

Well, if you have any troubles or whatever, you can always come to me. I've been here on YWS for five years, so I can definitely help you out. :)

Oy, I meant that if Oliver were a girl, the whole gold-digger thing would be tons worse. That's it! Don't make Oliver into a girl. That would be awkward! :D ...

Hey Sachi! The death scene sounds really strange and random right now. I don't think I really like it. I think you should either expand or get rid of it. ...

The reason why the ending is a bit weird is because you made it go from slightly boring to extremely jarring. And the jarringness of the last line (a very ...

*Moved to Dramatic Poetry!*

Hey Eli! Now that you ended with her going, "Woe is me, my life is over, DAGGERPLUNGEHEARTSQUIRT" it sounds even hokier! Remember that storytelling is all about the tease. When ...

I knew what you were writing about. It was just poorly executed. :P Specific advice? 1. Kill the adjectives. Your poem pretty much relies on those things to get any ...