Snoink

Hey iamjemo! :D I think you need to have more concrete things in this poem. Most of this poem contains almost completely abstract concepts, such as bonds, circumstance, adventures, home, ...

Hey aidyl, nice story! I do like the characterization a lot... Viya has just the right amount of sass and I love how she handles the guy. The comb is ...

GAH! Did I mention how much I loved your poetry? The first four lines are UTTERLY ADORABLE. I mean, how cute can you possibly get? *flails in cuteness* I think ...

Mwha! I was wondering whether you were still taking critiques on this! :D So, basically, I think most of the descriptions here rely on adjectives, and that kind of bugs ...

LOL. I totally read this as one poem. I think it kind of fits together as one poem though... I like the disjointedness of it all! :D -Softly, he whispered ...

Hey Kevo! I found this piece... really scattered, actually! It felt like you just wrote whatever came out of your head and you didn't bother editing at all! Flow of ...

Gah, Yoha! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND YOUR AWESOME POEMS! Anyway! I think the first stanza is unnecessary, so I would cut that out. :) Also! This line: ...

Hey Tangent! I love most of this, as you probably guessed! Not as much as I love you, of course, but that's asking the impossible, no? :) The one thing ...

The imagery of the cadavers, the orgies, the techno... I loved how you basically used all these senses to your advantage and really made it nightmarish! Very nice! Plus, it ...

Aw, losing someone always sucks! And grieving, even if it's essential, is never fun. :( For your poem, you may consider taking out the repetitious line, "try being me" since ...

Hey bigwords! :D Mwha. I guessed from your critiques that your poetry would be lovely... and what do you know? I'm right! :D Anyway, my main comment is that the ...

Hey Fade! :D First of all, this is a pretty twisted poem, lol. It's like... they love each other, but they want to hurt each other? I am not sure ...

Teehee, this is a bit of a tongue twister! :D Anyway, my one main comment is that the second to last stanza seems out of place... I would actually make ...

Hey Jeanette! Aww... sisters who drift away from each other! Always a sad thing! Anyway, I agree with the several people who said that that one line is repetitious and ...

Hey Isabella! :D This may just be me, but I think I would do without this prologue and just dive into the action in the first chapter! I mean, come ...