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Re: That's So Gay!
Hi! I actually think this would serve as a nonfiction story than a poem. Right now, this is a little more than a rant that is in poetic form. Which ...
Dec 6, 2011 -
Re: The Ghosts of Octavius-Chapter 5-The end
Hi! You linked this to me, so I'd figure I would comment. I didn't read the rest because you just linked me this. But, I think I have a rough ...
Dec 5, 2011 -
Re: Just Tell Me
Hey Qara! :) For this poem... one of the things that struck me was that all these people seemed to do was they looked at each other and then they ...
Nov 19, 2011 -
Re: Starlit night
Locked. Plagiarized.
Nov 19, 2011 -
Re: Neverland
Locked. Plagiarized.
Nov 19, 2011 -
Re: I Believe
I don't know. This looks more like a creed than an actual poem. I mean, we (my church and I) recite the Nicene Creed every time we go to church, ...
Nov 19, 2011 -
Re: Pink Floyd
Hey TinyDancer! :) This piece seems a little bit too short, and I think you can definitely expand on some of the scenes in here! In this story, you have ...
Nov 10, 2011 -
Re: Maybe.
I don't get it... it seems like the writer is very much in love, but she is hindered by her own insecurities. Okay, fine. Honestly, I probably wouldn't be able ...
Nov 10, 2011 -
Re: A Hare's Tale
Oh. My. Goodness. This is quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever read. I mean, I love carrot cake to the point where my nickname is Carrot Cake. So, ...
Nov 9, 2011 -
Re: Parting
Ew. A cigarette should never be taken as a penis (or penis substitute), ever. For one, it's rather smelly. For another, it's too small. Don't forget the whole burning vaginal ...
Nov 2, 2011 -
Re: Two Weeks, One
Hey kid! I like the first part of this story, but the first part and the second part seemed oddly detached from each other. She is pretty... emotionless about his ...
Oct 20, 2011 -
Re: Wolves and Dragons
Hey lonewolf! I figured I would take a look at your story. :) Anyway, your story is really hard to read because of the grammar. You use periods sparingly, your ...
Oct 20, 2011 -
Re: RaquƩl: Outside Looking In
Hi Poly! :) All right! Out of everything here, I think you could really make the ending much stronger. I mean, let's look at the opening line here: I moaned ...
Oct 20, 2011 -
Re: The Woman at the Well
Hi! I love this story, so I'm glad to see it here! :) My first comment is that you switch from talking about Jesus in the third person to speaking ...
Oct 12, 2011 -
Re: Musings of a Quiet God: Fragments
I think I love you. Also, if these are just fragments, I think I would be interested in reading the larger project. After all, the way you present these ideas ...
Oct 6, 2011
