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Re: untitled fantasy - chapter 1 (a novel in the works)
It's funny how you choose which stories you critique and which ones you don't. Since you critiqued my brother's stuff, I'll critique yours. Lately, my critiques have been getting ignored ...
Apr 30, 2005 -
Re: The Intruder
Is this Arkady when she's a little girl? Something about this story just screams this to me. However, you should describe Wyoming a little bit better. I thought she was ...
Apr 30, 2005 -
Re: There All Along
I actually liked this. "OMG??? SNOINK SAID THAT??????!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yes, I did. It was short, sweet, and to the point. There were some minor problems, of course, but not so much ...
Apr 29, 2005 -
Re: Eulogy of A Dreamer: Sorry Boys!
Gah! Story is more than just dialogue. Heck, dialogue is more than just what the character says. How does this character say it? What is going on? Set up the ...
Apr 29, 2005 -
Re: Prologue of MY STORY
:P What do you expect? Griffinkeeper and I are twins. Okay, I don't want to be repetive when I don't have to, but I just posted an article you might ...
Apr 23, 2005 -
Re: I-Pod article I wrote for my school paper
:lol: First of all, President Bush has been seen rocking out to an I-pod, though this has been kept under wraps since Apple is a very liberal company. Second, good ...
Apr 19, 2005 -
Re: Please Give Me A Reason.
Some of them look like confused penguins! Comedy is hardly fiction, but you did something which you should be slashed on your head for and beaten with a very large ...
Apr 17, 2005 -
Re: Love in P-land America (OVER SIXTEEN)
I actually liked this poem. It took me several rereadings, but I did eventually like this poem. At first it pissed me off because I thought you had cluttered it ...
Apr 17, 2005 -
Re: Shall we Dance? (13+ for profanity) /P
Oh dear! You wanted me to critique a romance? Not just a romance, but a romance with poetry? You don't know me very well... Nevertheless, I will try to critique ...
Apr 17, 2005 -
Re: Take A Step Back
First of all, spell check it. There's lots of random errors. Most of them are readable, but I'm still not sure what "pubbing" means. Either that, or my American mind ...
Apr 16, 2005 -
Re: Slaying the Dreamer --Over 13 for language--
this is only the begging I've a lot to work on this but enjoy. CL Slaying the Dreamer I'm a priest for the poorest sacrifice I'm but a raft in ...
Apr 15, 2005 -
Re: Opening to (hopefully) a novel
No I wouldn't. For one, this seems too one-sided. Automatically when reading this, the evil side is looked upon as the good side. Some writers might see this as a ...
Apr 15, 2005 -
Re: Space Station 6
That's not true! I've seen many articles that short in the Wall Street Journal. Not enough to comment on, but I haven't a clue where you're going with this. Consider ...
Apr 15, 2005 -
Re: I Scare Myself...
El cuento está bien, pero yo pienso Ud. debe escribir el cuento en español. Si Ud. escribe en español el cuento está muy fuerte. Pero los escritores inglés no comprenden ...
Apr 7, 2005 -
Re: The Curse of Mortality
I dunno... the rhyming seems forced and the rhythm seems off. It's a good effort, mind you, but there are some lines that just seem horribly forced. Especially here: Some ...
Apr 5, 2005
