Snoink

Yay! ...er... yeah. I love ellipses, but you have to use them right. Ellipses signify a trailing off in words, but you wanted something shorter. So the dash really works ...

Hehehe... nice. I think it's a little strange of some of the words she uses with the guy (gah... I'm so bad with names, or does he have one?) but ...

Hehehe... silly, you can write! Still, this poem seems too short (which is quite something for me to say since I generally like short poems, but I digress...) You do ...

Aww... that reminds me of Grandma Rose! :D I mean... she was always like that, except for the fact that we lived far apart and she would have no sugar ...

Hehehe... Okay, I finally read this. As soon as she became the queen, instead of Elanna, it got just a little weird. I would probably put a teensy weensy more ...

Hahaha... Um, you experimented with sci fi, and that's cool, but ahhh! But she glanced up to check the time, and there he was. His hands were the beginning of ...

The first stanza is wonderful in the imagery it creates. We find ourselves in the morgue along with the heroine, and it's just really creepy, which makes it THAT much ...

Oh... the first stanza is just GORGEOUS. :) I love how it contrasts the images and characterizes the clouds. And it makes it seem like the people are meeting up ...

Oh dear... hehehe... When you do titles, you make sure that here's no frivalous punctuation in the title (thus, I took over your computer and took the period out) and ...

Aww... the last two lines are so sad! :( But I don't see the connection between the title and the actual poem. :?

It's not ironic at the moment. If you want to make it ironic, you have to lead the readers more into it and do it a lot more subtlely. The ...

Hahaha... but the communist manifesto is deadly. It's a tiny document, barely even a book, and with so many fallacies that it makes my brain want to explode. With loaded ...

Oh dear... I feel so cold and callous and (worst yet) critical today. Um. Yeah. So if this critique sounds moody and whatever, I don't hate you. Honest. It's just... ...

I'm guessing that this was passed in at school a long time ago and you're just curious about how the story was, probably so you can improve in your subsequent ...

Hmmm... I think you're being overly vague in the beginning. Okay... so Joy's perfume and pleasant faces. That's nice. Still, it doesn't give us an image in our heads where ...