Snoink

Down girl, down! This introduction makes us think it's slashy. You may want to change it. :P James groaned. Now what? he thought. Jack had been tormenting him ever since ...

Oh, yay! Some of the allusions (yeah, I think that's what you call it, hehe) are really pretty, and since I'm oh so religious (hehe) I can definitely see some ...

Mm... Okay. Since I'm lazy in my old age (haha...) I'm not going to go all nit-pickish on you. You're a writer, aand a fairly decent one at that, so ...

Well, if I'm forced to change the name of the character just to suit your whim, I won't be happy - I think you're just trying to spoil the party. ...

YAY! And, OMG, you should so totally go to the bookstore and BUY some of James Thurber's books. Yes. All the ones that you can fit your hands on. He ...

YAY! And the Gal writes! :) I love it!! Its very snippy, in an 18th century, 'I'm better than you are' kind of way. Haha... too true! I think I ...

First of all, you might want to keep the chapters separated. Like, each post you have here is one chapter. :) As far as the story? For me, it starts ...

Songs always have quotation marks around them. So it should be "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" when you're talking about that song. And albums are italicized, much like books. Also, ...

This is very prologue-y. That is, it lives and breathes and exists solely as an infodump. And this isn't good. Though I know mythology is a little tricky to write, ...

Agreed. Also, to have a truly good poem, you have to have three things: IDEA This is the main idea of the poem. What do you want to say? VOICE ...

I read this before, but I didn't comment. And I reread it again and still didn't comment. And now I feel guilty. XD No, seriously, I love your style. It's ...

So! The tree it bore apples And golden apples were they! So, the King was furious When the fruits got stolen one day. Maybe... The tree it bore apples And ...

Eep! The ending is creepy... this reminds me very much of Poe. I would prefer more showing vs. telling in the very beginning. I would rather see how the two ...

Haha, so awesome. The pacing's good and hooray! I love Sirius's character here... it's so mysterious. Oh, and I hate your main character. In a good friendly hate way. ;) ...

Haha... oh we *love* this subject. :roll: Bah. This is one of the most suckiest things ever that has happened. Okay! Serious! Critique! Here is my death recipe, made specially ...