Note: I started this before Dead Man's Chest came out, so yes, I am aware that some facts may be skewed when compared with what is now known. Get over it, lol. I'm hoping to continue this someday...
“Oi, Commodore!”
James groaned. Now what? he thought. Jack had been tormenting him ever since Elizabeth had invited the pirate to stay in Port Royal for a few days.
“I’ve been thinking,” Jack said, sauntering up uncomfortably close to Commodore Norrington. “What say you join me ‘n’ my crew on the Pearl, eh? We’d have loads of fun!” He leaned in closer. “And if we’re lucky, you might find yourself another girl, savvy?”
Norrington sighed. “Mr. Sparrow -”
“Captain, if you please…”
Narrowing his eyes in annoyance, the Commodore continued. “I appreciate your… concern… for my emotional well-being, but joining your crew is the last thing I want to do at the moment.”
“I’m only tryin’ to help you out, mate. Besides, I couldn’t help but notice the way the women looked at you at the wedding. Why don’t you find one of them to keep you company tonight?”
“Because I don’t believe in one-night stands.”
Jack nodded and rolled his eyes. “You really are the pride of the King’s Navy, aren’t you, son? Listen. It doesn’t have to be a one-night stand - find a girl and start wooing her. Before you know it, she’ll be wantin’ to marry you - and then you can have your fun.”
“If I thought any of them were worth marrying, I would have begun courting them long before Elizabeth came of age.”
“Ah. Right. Because Elizabeth was the only girl for you in this whole town and now that your bonny lass is Will’s bonny lass, there’s nothing for you here. Which is why you should join me crew.”
James turned to Jack. “Tell me, Mr. Sparrow, have you ever been in love?”
“Of course I have! You may not believe it, but I know it’s possible to love a different woman every night for the rest of your life. That’s the secret, mate.”
“I’ll take that as a no. Do not try to console me on matters with which you are unfamiliar.”
The Commodore strode past Jack, wondering yet again why he hadn't arrested the pirate when he stepped foot onto the dock again. Unfortunately, he was now protected by the governor - Elizabeth had requested it as a wedding present. Elizabeth and her wedding presents... He laughed bitterly. Will would have his hands full with the lass.
***
As Norrington walked past the docks, Mullroy and Murtogg jumped to attention. He paid no notice to them, however.
"I bet you he cried," Murtogg said suddenly.
Mullroy looked at him. "The Commodore? No. No, he wouldn't cry, not even over something like that."
"Yes he would," Murtogg retorted. "Any man would. Besides, I saw him."
"You saw him?"
"Yes."
"You saw him with tears full of lost passion and anger rolling down his cheeks?"
"...No."
"Exactly."
"...But I did see a hint of moistness in his eyes."
Mullroy had had enough by this point. "Oh, and no moistness that's not full of lost passion and anger couldn't possibly be anything other than tears, is that what you're saying?"
Not understanding a word he just said, Murtogg nodded. "No."
Mullroy rolled his eyes. "Like I said, the Commodore didn't cry."
Just then, they saw Commodore Norrington pull a handkerchief out of his pocket and dab his eyes.
"Must be allergies," Mullroy muttered.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I really enjoyed this. I assume there's more coming?
I really can't critique you on anything; and I would honestly feel bad for doing so since I'm new to this site, even if there was anything to critique. I loved the chatty dialogue; you portrayed Jack perfectly, I think, and caught Norrington's tone very well! I see how Snoink and others may have assumed this a slash piece at first, but i didn't even catch that! It's just Jack's character to act so.
Anyway, I hope to see the next portion of this, if there is one, soon!
I liked it. Though people were jumping to the wrong conclusions about Jack sauntering up to Norrington I think I know what you were saying. In Jack's behaviors he does get uncomfortably close. That's just Jack. He does it all the time in the movies. I really couldn't critic this work i liked it alot i hope you have more to post.
Great ending, you did their sort of rambling conversation so well. I like reading good POTC fics, just because so many of them are awful (on FF.net anyway... and that's only to be expected). I guess it does sound slashy at the start, I like a good bit of Sparrington as much as the next girl, buuut then it moved away and whatever so it's not like it's a problem.
Your characters are great, especially Norrington. The only crit I can think of is that maybe it rushes along a little bit fast at the start, you could fill it up with a bit of description or something. I wouldn't say it's serious though, and it could just be the style of the story and lots of rambling would ruin it.
I'd read another part if you wrote it =D
You had written the story so well, that you can actually hear Jack and Norrington saying the dialogue.
Isn't it the royal navy?
Well, your story was really good.
Please, continue.
Ha, this was pretty awesome.
To echo other people, the Commodore's dialogue was perfect, but some of Jack's sounded a little forced or something... Like maybe you were trying too hard to make him funny? But this line made me smile:
“Of course I have! You may not believe it, but I know it’s possible to love a different woman every night for the rest of your life. That’s the secret, mate.”
I can totally imagine hin saying that.
I'd love to see more of this...
THAT was very Norrington-ish
I thought it was neat.
This was good, I might show it to some friends ~_^. I disagree with Imp though, some of Jack's dialogue seemed a little off.
I hope there's more.
-MH
Oy - hilarious, Crys! ^_^ Norrington's tone was particularly in character; I could hear him saying it all. Jack as well, as I think of it... But Norrington...
Too amusing. ...Er, slash never entered my mind, as they were discussing women. Dialogue all around hit its target.
...Not the end though?
Hahahahaha... Everytime I told Bek I was writing a Norrington/Sparrow fanfic, she assumed it was slash. So did everyone else, actually. Who knows? Maybe it'll become slash... But for now, I think I'll leave it. I gotta keep you guys wondering.
Down girl, down!
This introduction makes us think it's slashy. You may want to change it.
So yeah. The last sentence is like, "WOOOOOOOOOOAH!" So if that's the impression you want to make, feel free to, but just know that that's teh vibe we're getting.