Snoink

Oh! And I *did* read all of this, so hmph! Well... what you have so far anyway. I can't likely read your mind. So... ideas on where to go now? ...

Convincing Vinnie Not To Kill A Man. He’s a motherfucker. So, what? We all go around, fuck around, and shit around. Of course, we’ll fuck each other up some times, ...

Aww... very sweet! :D One thing I would like to see is a more personalized approach to this poem. Like, everybody has certain traditions, so maybe if you can tell ...

I like how the bolded stuff was so typical and the normal stuff was told in an intense manner which was also fairly gripping. Though I know you like flowy ...

Aw, come on! We all need a little melodrama! :D I liked this... though I didn't see it before. Oops. Yeah. But, as usual, your poetry is awesome and you ...

Hehehe, don't worry. In the end, you shouldn't write for an audience, but yourself. Though aiming to improve is always good. ;) I would focus more on the tired feet. ...

Hehehe... I would add more description with the dialogue. For one, if this was nano, you want all the words you can yget! But that also helps the general flow ...

First of all, get rid of the quotes. As soon as you say the word "I" it indicates that you are saying it. Unless you were speaking to someone else, ...

Haha! A poem about my birthday! :D I feel honored... Okay! Now the nit-picky stuff... When you have a plural noun, you do not put apostrophes between the second to ...

Quick note or else my grammar neurons will go crazy. Don't worry about the active vs. passive. That's not your concern. What you will want to do is vary your ...

"Through the westsdie of this town." Should be "westside." The first stanza is boring... I think it's these lines: We account bottlecaps and soda taps, To make a ledger of ...

Wait... so what is this style like? An idea: instead of the queen coming in to see what's happening, which might make an awkward scene worse (and she should know ...

Hehehe... this reminds me of some of the stuff I wrote when I was eleven. Except, I never wrote prologues, and I hated third person. And, of course, my stuff ...

Hahaha... poor baby. :P I know my cousin just had her first baby and her mother told her that the baby was ugly. Which was... not cool. It's good that ...

Check the grammar. Your beginning line doesn't make sense: Today I met a lady with pupils the bled, The bled? Huh? And then you have someone [s]who's[/s] whose pupils bled. ...