Snoink

Ahhh! You can't leave it on this cliffhanger! I mean, it looks as if it's going to be more to the story, and then it just... stops. And that's not ...

May I press my fingers firmly on your neck? As your skin rubs off on mine? Just a quick thing... I would make the first question mark a comma. Otherwise, ...

Meh, there's something missing with this, and that means that I'll have to pummel you because it's part 3 that's missing and why, why, WHY did you post this without ...

I don't know. Tess's character doesn't make sense. If she usually is a party animal, why would she be so quiet on the sidelines? I mean, we get the feeling ...

Aha! First of all, if you want to have critiques on this, you MUST seperate this into paragraphs by making a space between each paragraph. Then it's easier to read ...

XD I love Brad. Anyway, I can see why this is supposedly great and I can appreciate the lack of words and the strange meanings they come up with, but ...

I'm just going to comment on the grammar a little bit. The first paragraph has WAY too many run on sentences. So spit up the sentence and it should be ...

Yes, it goes here. ^_^ Now... for the critique! The story was cool and the ending was pretty dramatic, so you get full points on that. I like how you ...

Ahhh... this is much better than the poem. As the others said, description is key in this story, especially in the setting. I know that, when I picture this story ...

Aww... poor Lynnie! Mind you, I think the introduction was a little bit too "woe is me!" but that could just be a preference taste, so whatever. In any case, ...

Right now, this is very very abstract. Why not write a poem that brings scenes from the real world into the abstract world? For instance, the only thing "real" in ...

Very old school.. pretty cool! :D In the last stanzas, try to make it more concrete and see whether turning it from the abstract to the solid makes it different. ...

This could probably be published in some teen magazine... I think. Except I don't read teen magazines, so maybe I'm wrong? Moving along! ;) The main thing I would say ...

I hate you. This story was awesome and gave me chills and even made me not want to read the ending of it, because I was scared what would happen ...

This is not poetry. This is basically a rant that asks a lot of questions and then tells you that bullying is bad. Mind you, I'm not saying that this ...