Snoink

Hello and welcome to YWS! :D A couple of things, before I begin the critique. First of all, if you want this story to be on the front page (and ...

Sam said plane crash? I thought it was divorce. Or something. O_o Anyway, it was cute, but I guess I wasn't that touched, because chocolate is poison for little ducks, ...

First of all, if you want to have this appear on the front page, you must rate it! Then people will read the first lines and probably be sucked into ...

This seemed to be one of your more honest poems, and it worked nicely. It was pretty and all that jazz. :) Use Cal's line breaks suggestion for the third ...

Oh crap...this is a creepy poem. Like, super creepy. Wow. You get points for the creep factor this has. I don't know if this is intended to be creepy, but ...

LOL! This is funny. :D The only thing I might suggest is changing "walky-tocky" to "wicky-talking." But I'm weird like that. :P Anyway, cool stuff.

Hello and welcome to YWS! I'm going to move to "Other Fiction" because it really belongs there, and it'll probably get more traffic there anyway. Okay? ^_^ Ahhhh... lovely grammar. ...

Hahaha, this was cute. Not that I really watch Dr. Who (only saw one episode) but I like the dedication you put in this poem. :D I like the rhyming ...

This seems like a run on sentence split into line breaks to become poetic. Remeber: punctuation is a good thing, and it is essential in poetry so you can shape ...

Wombs are NOT in guys. Wombs are in girls. So use a body part that is different. This story is really really confusing. I mean, the parts don't seem to ...

Ay, I understand this perfectly. But at the same time, you can do so much more with this! Right now, you're just saying the same things over and over. You ...

The boy who’s intelligence is well-used, It's not "who's" (which is a contraction for "who is") but "whose" which means it's possessive. ^_^ I love the title of the poem, ...

If it's a riddle, don't tell us what it is. In fact, don't even say, "What am I?" We should be able to determine that this is a riddle with ...

At the moment, this is kind of repetitious. You keep telling us that the narrator is tired, but you really don't tell us why or give us any reason why ...

WHENCE! You are supposed to post all the parts TOGETHER. I mean, I like to have points and everything, but still! You post them together so that we can make ...