Snoink

I critiqued your poem on [s]youtube[/s] revver! That is, I read it out loud so you could see how it sounded like in my head. Hopefully, it'll help. :) And ...

Ooh! This is actually quite cool. :) The "M" and "E" lines weren't as good, mostly because they were jumbled around a bit a little too much. You should try ...

Questions I have! :D Why do Dooms typically find the first kill the hardest? Maybe you can have anecdotes (short stories) that the author relates to to prove this. Like, ...

Hello! Er... I haven't critiqued in a while, so hopefully this isn't too harsh or too nice. I forgot how to write these things! Anyway, whatever it is, I hope ...

Wait. So she was a spy? Dude. Then why was she so clumsy? Why was she infatuated with this guy? I mean, from "Burn Notice," often spies would consider people ...

This is a truly brilliant poem. The quest; it begins and I scurry around, my brethren with me, all searching for something to eat; fast, fast, fast as can be, ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! I love overdramatic poetry, so this might just be me, but the more you can milk it, the happier I am. You've already done a ...

Don't put this as a poem. It would be much better as dialogue. In fact, if there's really no compelling reason why this should be a poem (like... if the ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! This is very much the same as the rest of your work, and that's bad. You should try a little variety, just because everybody needs ...

Hi! I am going to be mean and everything, but I wasn't really emotionally affected by that at all. ^_^ It was much too abstract! It's a lot of, "you ...

This... isn't a good story. First of all, the initial conflict is that she's walking somewhere with two white roses. Um... so what? This isn't a good catch. If it's ...

Hello! I haven't seen you around very much, even though it looks like you've been fairly active, so first of all, welcome to YWS! :D I am a somewhat harder ...

Hello! First off, I want to quote the first page of a rather famous book called "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis. He did the Narnia series, but this is ...

To be honest, I didn't read these books. But not because I didn't try! I hated them and put them down. Hopefully they'll stay down... "Interstellar Pig" by William Sleator ...

Your dialogue grammar is wrong -- listen to JFW. ;) I just wanted to give a quick comment: it seems like you're rushing a lot through these events. And that's ...