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The Name Is Carmen.

by parisanmilo

Published October 2, 2008

In Narrative Poems

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Cigarettes and Men alike, easily does she discard them
After bewitching, seducing, fatale est la femme
Reels them in, spits them out, falls for another
Madly one fell, sacrificing, he – a passionate lover
Escamillo, she left him for, José’s obsession tired her
Now he pleads, she refuses; he reacts, passionately, violently, in anger

Comments & reviews · 4
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parisanmilo
Comment
parisanmilo commented Comment · Oct 3, 2008

heyy(: thanks guys :D

how's this:

Cigarettes and Men alike, easily does she discard them

After bewitching, seducing, fatale est la femme

Reels them in, and spits them out, then falls for another

Madly one fell, he – a self-sacrificial, passionate lover

Escamillo, she left him for; José’s obsession tired her

Now he pleads, she refuses; he reacts, passionately, violently, in anger


i should put this under performance poetry or something...

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playerj09
Comment
playerj09 commented Comment · Oct 2, 2008

I liked it alot! very put together and orderly. I remember my teacher making us do these in grade school mine really sucked compared to yours.

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esteria
Review
esteria wrote a review Review · Oct 2, 2008

I have to agree with Snoink above, when i saw the C-A-R-M-E-N i thought ... but it came across really good. I think the E-line was good as opposed to the M-line which was a little confusing. What if it went like- Madly one fell, sacrificing a passionate lover. hope i was helpful :roll:

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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review Review · Oct 2, 2008

Ooh! This is actually quite cool. :)

The "M" and "E" lines weren't as good, mostly because they were jumbled around a bit a little too much. You should try to straighten them out, maybe make them more grammatical, and it should be okay. :)



Sea and Sky- both blue. Once, in proposal, Sea turned red. Sky's father- Sun forbade so she wept as rain, uniting the lovers in defiance.
— AlexWrites