Young Writers Society

heyy(: thanks guys

how's this:

Cigarettes and Men alike, easily does she discard them

After bewitching, seducing, fatale est la femme

Reels them in, and spits them out, then falls for another

Madly one fell, he – a self-sacrificial, passionate lover

Escamillo, she left him for; José’s obsession tired her

Now he pleads, she refuses; he reacts, passionately, violently, in anger


i should put this under performance poetry or something...

I liked it alot! very put together and orderly. I remember my teacher making us do these in grade school mine really sucked compared to yours.

I have to agree with Snoink above, when i saw the C-A-R-M-E-N i thought ... but it came across really good. I think the E-line was good as opposed to the M-line which was a little confusing. What if it went like- Madly one fell, sacrificing a passionate lover. hope i was helpful

Ooh! This is actually quite cool.

The "M" and "E" lines weren't as good, mostly because they were jumbled around a bit a little too much. You should try to straighten them out, maybe make them more grammatical, and it should be okay.