Snoink

Hey alurie! You have a nice, smooth style, which is good! The next step is making this story an enticing story that the reader can sink his teeth in! Now, ...

Okay, this may be because I'm a young adult (as opposed to being a teenager) but I thought this prologue was boring. "You may be next!" "I am bred to ...

Oh god. This was amazing. XD At first, I was skeptical, since I don't really go for that sort of stuff, but on and on the insanity (INSANiTY?) went on ...

ZOMG. You didn't. *rereads* Eek, you totally did. I don't understand WHY young writers do this, but I've read literally dozens of poems like yours, so much so that it ...

Interesting. The thing that is irking me is how coincidental it is. I am reminded of a commercial that advertised this one movie by saying over and over again, "It ...

Eh... the inherent problems with each of these poems poem center on the fact that you're asking questions and not going further with those questions. All of the question you ...

First of all, I moved this to fanfiction, since I am a moderator and such. Because, really, repeated comments about, "What kind of name is Chaos? Don't you have any ...

Dude, this is awesome! How many times do you get to have a rock be the main character? :D Plus, you also went through the whole process of how he ...

Hey Chevy! Great to see you here again. :D I actually really liked this work. The main thing that I would probably do with it would be cut down some ...

Hey, Azz! :D I'm considered one of the more... er... harsher of YWS, but I do really want to help you, so if you have any questions, feel free to ...

Hello! Yay for ghost stories! I always liked them, especially if they're written well. :) This reminds me of a couple of children's books I've read (not the baby stuff--the ...

Eek, a sad story! And true, too. The worst of both worlds. But let's try to get through this. I really liked the story. I won't go into the reasons ...

Oooo! That's a great idea, writing a poem for mom. :) When life was all about Barbie dolls, Beanie babies, and toys. But looking back upon those days, its not ...

Dun dun dunnnnn! :D So! Questions that I would like to see answered in your up-and-coming stories (which you'll totally write because you're awesome like that): Who is he? How ...

I is too late! However, I'm going to pretend that this critique might help you in your quest for the Ultimate Story, whatever that is. And it's mostly a rant ...