Snoink

Hey Jane! :D A good story... really! Very true and poignant, especially in times like these. Plus, it's written well, which is always a bonus. ;) My main advice for ...

Hey Jasmine! So! This kind of reminds me of some of the older poems I did... which may or may not be a bad thing! :P Anyway! In the first ...

Classy! I love you but... that title is soooo wrong on so many levels. XD Also, why is this in fantasy? It hardly seems like a fantasy short story at ...

Hey Ross! So, you're writing lyrics! Yay! :D Now, for the first verse, it seems really really cheesy. I don't know. I like the chorus and how it runs, but ...

Hey ninjacookiemonster! :D (And yes, I love that name.) I think this isn't really an excerpt as much as it is a query! Which is fantastic, really... I'm attempting to ...

Considering that you just viciously killed a leaf in the name of science, why not talk about it in scientific terms? No, it doesn't have eyes... but it does have ...

Next time, bug somebody in green. We can unlock it for you. :) Anyway... there is this damsel lying in this grass with lots of insects whizzing around. She's been ...

Hey talkingbird! Interesting beginning! I like the language and the way you bring us into the characters' lives. Now, my main suggestion here is to describe more about Maggie. In ...

Hey Ninja Cookie Monster! :D One thing that I would really like to see in this is a description of Seth! Not necessarily a physical description, mind you, (though you ...

Fries! A story! *pounces!* Now! For the story! First, the annoying scientist in me wants to remind you that it's pretty hard to outrun a bear. And out climb a ...

Hey guitargirl! Interesting way of formatting your story! I find it strange that she would be so open with her brother, but hey! Whatever works! Now, my main suggestion would ...

Hey Jester! At first, I was like, "Awww, what a sweet poem!" and then I kept reading it and my eyes widened. A suicide poem made from a butterfly? It ...

MOOSE! Nah, just kidding. But I love your signature. :) So! You have some really interesting friends here! To make this even better, consider expanding on the two girl's relationships. ...

Hey Hannah! I agree with Navita... this is very hard to understand! I know you're trying to just throw us into the scene and draw us in that way, but ...

Hey Trix! Neat story... nice voice that you're using. I really like it! :D Now, this is a very captivating introduction because the story is captivating (yay!) but there's only ...