Silverstar

I read it, and I see where you're trying to go but... I don't get a feel for the characters. The dialogue seems very forced, in most places, and in ...

Crit coming soon... :D And here it is! Okay. Spelling and grammar seems to have been attended to by other reviewers, so I'll go ahead with the basic story and ...

I loved this. Always been a fan of stuff like this. About the foreword- The main thing I had a problem with here was excessive use of commas, which kind ...

Good to see more of this story. Keep it up! I noticed that in the first part you put a line between paragraphs, but discontinued it after a while. this ...

Nice story, from waht I can see. Elves are always good! Try to look through, I see a number of commas where there should be periods. ~ Coriacan, a young ...

How I always do it (the only way that seems to work)i s double space paragraphs. Like so. Before: After the lunch rush had subsided, Cid's wicked stepmother barged into ...

I really like the idea of having stories like that. Most of everything has been covered, but here's some comments. It seems strange that his 'night clothes' as it said ...

*coughcoughahem* I really, shouldn't, but I will. Against my better judgement. My Two Bits I was not impressed at all by the first one. The plot was seriously cliched, and ...

I like the world you seem to have here, but there are a few SPaG errors. (Wait. Is that term used on here? Spelling Punctuation and Grammar so not to ...

No contest. LotR all the way. Actually, the Silmarillion is better, *high fives Erethror* As for too much description? Its a matter of taste. And for me, what mood I'm ...

I'll jump right in here. The first paragraph there is beautiful, nice description, but if I were you I'd cut some of it out. The sad truth is that too ...

*rubs hands* My first review. How nice. One thing I would say, just as a formatting thing, is put a space between paragraphs. It makes it easier to read. She ...