SharkTheCat

Hello! I started with your last update on this series, but then I figured it would have been just shoddy work to read and review just that one. So, let's ...

Hello, Let's get to it, shall we? Overall: Try creating your world through the eyes of your characters, especially considering you are writing in first person - your character needs ...

Hello, First of all, quite a nice start, but you need some tweaking to do in order to make it sound a tad bit better and start building up on ...

Hello, I'm going to give you some points to work on considering this first page: - You use the character's name too much for comfort, making the story sound repetitive. ...

Hello! Alrighty. So I'm going to write a bit about what you can improve and change, but this is only my opinion. Take what you think fits your style and ...