SeraphTree

I'm glad. :D :D

Okay. Now I can critique your work. :D “Before you start I just have to say I have NOTHING to do with Jon breaking up with you,” Instead of using ...

Np. :D I'm glad to help. :D

It's fine to have mini climaxes. We just need a break between them. ;)

:lol: I imagine the maniacal laughter when you say she's supposed to be insane. Hm. My suggestion is that you make her mind dark and muddled- confused about what's right ...

Yeah. Just try putting yourself in her shoes. Also, you don't have to worry too much, since this is your first draft. I mean, you're going to do a lot ...

This is way too long. Please post it into at least into two smaller posts, then I will crit. :D

I suggest you break this into smaller posts- at least two. It's a bit long to read. ;)

Break this into a few more posts; it's a bit long to read. ;)

Please break this into smaller paragraphs; then I will crit. :D

Wow, that was a lot of crits. ^o^ I wasn't expecting that. Thanks everyone; I'll work on making it more clear. :D

Thanks for the advice. :D Well, I was thinking about it, and... it would seem a little silly if Silvani couldn't protect her children, considering how powerful she is. Is ...

Don't feel bad; you can easily fix that. :) And, you are most welcome. :D

Hey, thanks, White. :D I feel kind of lame, that I didn't see that part with Ananta and their mother.^o^" I was probably rewriting something and... stopped in the middle... ...

You're most welcome. :D Don't worry, it's easily fixable. Oh, I will check my messages then. :D