Okay, I know it's not anywhere near close to being completely edited, but I decided to quickly fix some of the obvious mistakes, and I added another section to it. When I get some free time, I will post the next part of my story. Thanks for reading I hope you like it so far. Thanks everyone!
It’s probably hard to believe that all of the near death experiences I’ve had aren’t my fault. I’ve had twenty-seven hospitalizations, eighteen broken bones—four of those due to the same accident—and more bruises and cuts than I can count. I’ve had stitches in many different parts of my body, and I’ve had several concussions. I barely survived when I was born too. The point is that none of those were due to my recklessness or stupidity. I used to believe someone was out to get me, but now I know that I just have bad luck.
For example, that dog that had rabies and almost bit me; I would have gotten rabies or something like that if it wasn’t for that stupid cat that caught his attention instead. Everybody said I was lucky the cat was there to divert his attention from me, but the thing is, it was a black cat and if the dog wasn’t there, I was sure to walk right on by that cat. And everybody knows its awful luck to have a black cat cross your path. Not that I’m superstitious or anything. Just unlucky.
Clearly, it was not very smart for me to be riding my skateboard on the side of the road, but I was anyway, despite what my mother says. Besides, it was a completely deserted street with no cars. It was impossible for me to get run over if I did lose control. Not that I wasn’t good at skateboarding. It’s just that my skateboard goes faulty sometimes, and I fall. The front wheels are pretty messed up. I should have realized just how stupid this was in the first place. Anyway, here I was, about to skate across the empty intersection when my front wheels completely lost control. I lost control but kept hold of my balance at the last second. Not bad handling, I thought. Then I realized that I was parked right in the center of the intersection. I put my foot down on the asphalt to quickly continue my journey home when I heard a horn honk. A loud, deep honk of a semi. I pushed off the ground to get out of the way.
Unfortunately, my board decided to freak out again so my skateboard came out from under my feet and I was hurled forward. I skidded along the pavement and landed on my side. I heard the semi pass…crunching my skateboard to pieces. I tried to turn to see what the damage was, but my body wouldn’t allow it. I decided not to fight it. I could reel myself slipping into unconsciousness. The last thing I remember was that dark figure looking down on me, and then, everything went dark.
* * *
I woke up to a bright light over my head. I tried to sit up but my head started pounding so I quickly lay back down.
“Ouch,” I said.
“Mallory? You’re awake!” It was my mother’s voice. My eye lids fluttered open.
“How long have I been out?” I asked, lifting my arm up to rub my eyes. I pulled back suddenly because I felt a hard, white cast plastered up my arm. Great. Just what I needed, another broken arm.
“You haven’t been sleeping long,” She said. “I’ve only just arrived. You were lucky to get out of that alive.” She said.
“Lucky? Lucky? I almost got killed on the least dangerous road in America, my skateboard was completely destroyed, and you say I’m lucky?” I had to admit, I was angry. Maybe it was lack of sleep. Maybe it was the fact that I was the most unlucky person in the universe. Whatever it was, the conversation had to end because just then, a nurse walked in. “Oh! Somebody’s cranky!” The nurse said. She was short and plump with glasses and black, cropped hair. She had a burning look in her eyes. I narrowed my eyes in her direction. I had a right to be angry I thought. A kid gets fed up with ending up in the hospital nearly everyday of her young life. It was a very legitimate excuse to be upset.
“Excuse me?” I said through gritted teeth. Her smile turned into a wide grin. It almost made me flinch.
“You need some sleep, dear.” She said. Her confidence had grown. It was almost as if she was feeding off my anger.
“I don’t need anything.” I growled. The nurse’s expression didn’t change. She didn’t even seem annoyed by my words.
My mom, watching the entire argument unfold, finally spoke. “How long will she need to stay here?” The nurse sighed. I had a feeling it was to show her discomfort rather than ours.
“Well, she did break her wrist and there were a few deep scrapes so…” She paused for the suspense. “Overnight. At least.” I sighed. I was used to staying in the hospital for weeks at a time. It was basically my home away from home whether I liked it or not.
“Now, Miss Evans, perhaps we should step outside and discuss the bill.” Nurse I-Rule-The-World said. Her voice was suddenly very serious.
“The bill? Isn’t there a frequent customer discount or something?” My mom asked, closing the door as she and the nurse stepped out into the hall. I sat up. At least I wouldn’t have to endure geometry tomorrow, although, spending a night at the hospital wasn’t much better than school. My mind began to race as I tried to remember what had happened. My skateboard was ruined, that was a given. I didn’t remember much else. It was obvious that the only reason my mom wasn’t horrified was because I’d been in uncountable accidents before now. I didn’t remember much after the skateboard crunching. Although, I did remember the dark figure that I saw just before I went unconscious. I remember it because it’s happened every time I’ve had an accident. I’ve seen some sort of black shape above me, looking down at me. Perhaps it was a guardian angel, or maybe something else. I decided to let it go for the time being. I must have been delirious, I decided.
My mom and Nurse I’m-here-to-make-your-life-miserable stepped back into the room.
“Get comfortable, my dear. You’re going to have to stay right in that bed until the morning.” She said a huge grin on her face. My eyes narrowed in her direction. She didn’t even twitch.
“I’ll be over first thing in the morning to pick you up, okay?” My mom said.
“Sure, mom. Thanks.” I said. She turned around and left, the nurse at her heels.
That night, I couldn’t sleep. It could have something to do with the fact that I’m in an uncomfortable hospital bed, my arm was broken—my left arm. My left side is the side I always sleep on.—and I had a lot of things running through my head that I couldn’t clear out. Maybe you’d think I would be used to sleeping in a hospital bed lying in pain, but it was something I could never get used to.
The night was a rough one. Whenever I fell asleep I’d always wake up because I’d naturally roll over to my left side and I’d wake up in pain and discomfort. Then it would take twenty minutes just to fall back asleep again.
When morning came, I was exhausted. I tried to get a few more minutes of sleep in, but I was too eager to leave. I forced myself to sit up.
“When can I leave?” I asked a blond nurse that walked in a few minutes later. She looked much nicer than Nurse Fathead yesterday.
“I suppose you can start getting ready now. I think your mother will be arriving to pick you up in about an hour.” She said. I smiled. Then looked at the clock: 8:54 Then I remembered: It was Tuesday.
“What about…?” I started, but the nurse cut me off.
“School? You don’t have to go back until tomorrow. You should take it easy today.” She said. I beamed. I did not want to go to Geometry.
I got up and carefully changed into my clothes. I had eventually gotten used to getting dressed with one arm. I was ready to go when my mom showed up. Absolutely ready to go home at last.
* * *
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Don't feel bad; you can easily fix that.
And, you are most welcome. 
Okay you guys gave me great ideas, and the truth is, nobody has ever even read this piece before aside from you all, so thanks you've given me a lot to think about.
So thank you thank you so much for all of your help so far!
A couple of things I feel really bad about. I guess I never realized that in this bit I've posted, I never really told anything about the character! This is obvious to me, because first off, the main character is a girl.
I'll try to post more soon. I have most of the story written already so I just have to type it up, fix little grammatical errors, and things like that.
I hope you guys keep reading, it really does get really exciting I promise! Thanks for taking time to read it too.
Hey Shanya! I love your avatar - the Hush Sound kick butt! But onto the review.
Right off the bat, just glancing over this, it's obvious your paragraphs are much, much too long, even though this is a short piece. Long, text-wall paragraphs are deterring for readers. Paragraphs allow a pause in the storytelling - a stopping point, though very brief, and long paragraphs give too much without a stopping point. Try breaking up each paragraph here into two or three. Those would be better sized paragraphs.
What an intriguing beginning! This might also be a good place to start a new paragraph.
That semi-colon is incorrect, because the first part of the sentence reads incomplete, like you don't finish your idea. Instead of a semi-colon, use two sentences, like "For example, at one point a rabid dog almost bit me. I would have gotten rabies if it wasn't for that cat..." or however you want to phrase it.
This is very rambling. What I bolded can be combined into one sentence. And a new paragraph could start after this.
Alright, this is very short and there's not a lot of plot to comment on. So far, we just have a kid who is very unlucky. But there's nothing else outside of this character besides the fact that he's unlucky. All he comes across as is unlucky - like the personified version of it, because you give absolutely nothing else to the character. You need to describe him more outside of this one fact. First off, what's his name? Where does he live? Then again, this was a very short piece and there's not much that can be developed so quickly, but still, it's best to mention something outside the fact that he's so unlucky.
Also, try to avoid "telling". Telling is writing like "he did this, and then he did that." Every now and then it's best to use a showing tone while writing, such as add imagery and sensory descriptions.
PM me if you have questions. Keep writing!
~ Clo
Ok this is good.

There are only a few places where you forgott the coma, but when you reread it your sure to find them.
I like how you started with a little intro about all your MC's bad luck, but I agree with SeraphTree you need to exspand it a little try adding the pain your MC felt before he blacked out or what he was thinking just before the simi ran him over.
This is starting to be a very interesting pice I'll be watching for your next chapter.
Hey there, Shayna.
Keep writing; I'm very interested in this.
First off, I suggest you break this into smaller paragraphs so it's easier to read.
I suggest you build up to the skateboard accident, like... maybe your MC is thinking about all this bad luck/wondering about it, and not paying attention to where he's going. Maybe he remembers what his parents/friends say about him.
You have your character telling us he's unlucky; I think that's fine, depending on the story. It makes his accidend seem a little impersonal, though. So, instead, when bad things happen, you could have him think "That's right, accident prone me" etc.
If you need anything, feel free to PM me.
*Seraph*