Scorpia

I liked it, i do have to agree with the punctuation note that someone made, I was not sure if the next line was a new verse, a pause point ...

Cool, kinda short but good. Much different but good, at first when I saw feminist I was lke okayyy, what does trhat mean? You kinda explained it to me, I'm ...

Beautiful story! I Love Twilight, the cance was sweet. You did the characters well, sometimes people just mangle the characters until they are...really weird lol. Good job. I sometimes don't ...

I loved it Elise, really good. You can write poetry! And beautiful poetry at that, :) Please keep it up, listen to these guysandtheir pointers. I would give you some ...

It was very good, I liked it. I felt really bad for Cathy, I REALLY want to hurt Jordy. Torture him, poor Mischa. How did she get in a relationship ...

I would add more detailto the first conversation buty besides that, it was pretty good. Yes, it has potential if handled correctly. The character was okay, funny which is always ...

Add more detail, what pain was she feeling, where is she at. Things like that. It was not too confusing, since I have not read the rest of the story ...

Things were taken kind of fast. I would make it longer, it would be easy. {She wasn’t quite enjoying being hit} Hello Mr. Obvious. This in uneeded I think. Who ...

The title got my attention, it's great. I had to say it a few times because it sounds so cool, "The Eyes of the Empire, The EYES of the Empire!" ...

Ii liked it, the action was good. Work on your grammer some, listen to the comments these guys are making, they'll help you a lot. The better your grammer is ...

I laughed at Avens comment, because I was thingking the same thing. "Harry Potter, woot, woot!" It was not Harry though, lol. It was good. I kinda felt like Harry ...

I think this should be in poetry. It's not fanfiction unless you are writing it about a character in a movie/book/comic/, not a person. That would be poetry, so it ...

I LOVE the Keyes To The Kingdom series, they are original fantasy. The characters are great and although it sometimes gets confusing to me if I don't re-read the books ...

ROFL, Hey Elise! So cool to run into you here! You already know that I like your story. It was kind of weird that Severus was talking to himself. He ...