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Sapphire

  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Petra

    Hey! I’ve never read this before but I’m glad I have now! But since I’ve never read it before, that means I’ve never reviewed it before, so this will be ...

    Aug 21, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: A Leap through Time

    You know, this strikes me more as prose than poetry. It's very descriptive and well-written, but the lack of poetic techniques and rhythm lead me to seeing it more as ...

    Aug 20, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Criss Cross

    Hi aestar! I really loved the criss-crossing! I thought this was great, but I do have some suggestions for you. I'm going to quote the whole thing and score things ...

    Aug 20, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Thought Scramble

    I loved this but there were a couple of points that caught my attention: (Sometimes) I think there should be a full stop in there, like: (Sometimes.) Aesthetically, it just ...

    Aug 19, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Mirror

    I meant to critique this before and only just realised I hadn't! Although now I'm glad that I waited a while because I think it's one of these poems that ...

    Aug 14, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Never Worn

    How bizarre that I could feel sorry for a pair of baby shoes! We get so lonely anymore. This has been pointed out already. Is it 'We get so lonely ...

    Aug 13, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Maelstrom

    Hi! I think there is one main point you could consider to improve this poem, and that's having a more consistent structure. If you made sure each line had eight ...

    Aug 13, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Oppressed

    Hey! First off, I'll let you know that on YWS you should post two reviews before posting work of your own, then keep the review to work ratio 2:1 - ...

    Aug 12, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Will you?

    I'm going to go through this line-by-line. Hopefully you won't think this critique is too harsh, but I think some interesting elements of the poem are being overshadowed by sections ...

    Aug 12, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: a dream for a dream-er

    You know, despite not fully understanding the meaning of the poem, there's something I really like about it. What confused me about what was actually happening is that the beginning ...

    Aug 12, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Switching Off

    Hi! I liked this, although there are a few things I would change. Sometimes when you get repetition at the beginning of each stanza it can be incredibly irritating, but ...

    Aug 11, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: the heartache of endings

    You know, this might be the first time I got goosebumps reading a poem here. You picked a great subject to appeal to writers! :lol: However, of course, I do ...

    Aug 11, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: (Revised) confusion.

    I like this! It's much improved, simply with changes to one stanza and the addition of another. As an aside, I feel like this is more lyrical than dramatic. Perfection ...

    Aug 11, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Girls just wana' have fun

    Hey! Firstly, I think the title should be 'Girls just wanna have fun'. She w a ndered the lonely sodden city streets, the evening’s vain festivities now done. Light caught ...

    Aug 8, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Muse Gone

    Me again! :lol: I seem to have developed a habit for reviewing your poetry. I thought this was brilliant and there was only one minor point I'd change, which I'll ...

    Aug 4, 2008


"She doesn't even go here!"
— Damian Leigh