Royboy

M, wow. I really liked the whole mystery factor in it because I didn't completely catch on till the second paragraph. The last midnight does sort of seem repetative. The ...

TAHHAHAAA Sorry, I really liked the IHOP line. Then when she suggested Coldstone it was just too much for me. *coldstone is my saviour* So anyway, I'm glad Tammy's back. ...

Mkay, I'm slow, but this was still a bit confusing for me. I really loved how it kept moving through the whole thing and I was intruiged the entire way ...

“I may have the ride of a ten-year-old, but I’ve got the strength of a fourteen-year-old. So unless you want me to show you how tough I really am, I’d ...

Andi! I would totaly go and crit for this one and all the other ones, but I don't have the pages anymore. Leanne's got them. Yeah, by the end of ...

I'm halfway through your two hundred pages of writing and I've only had it for two days! I'm proud of myself because I've actually been doing other stuff like reading ...

But this time running was out the question. I think you left something out. He felt an Eire glow behind him, and turn around. Eire-->eerie. I'm not too sure, though. ...

Hey yeah, everything they've said. Also, you can press edit at the top of your original post to fix it up without having to post an entire new comment with ...

One thing: when you use quotes, make sure you have the right punctuation. If the words after the quotes are describing how the sentence was said or the character that ...

Her once smooth cheeks were blotchy and her hair was a muss. Mess. question.Then she gave him a small smile, “no,” the woman said softly. ...question. Then she gave him ...

I began to dig through the piles of junk, dust, and dirt. And there at the bottom was the typewriter. Make it one sentence. I liked the way this started. ...

Swords are sharp. Most sane people do not like sharp things. That is why I have a sword. Man, I went and showed that line to at least three seperate ...

I'm so sorry I haven't read for so long! I've been so busy, and it really isn't good to start making up excuses now, so I'll just say what I ...

Creiha: She's not exactly sure what's going on, that's for sure. She's starting to understand how important and complicated the situation is. She's also a little afraid of not being ...

Gnats and other pesky bugs were thriving. But, once in a blue moon a cool breeze blew from the east. This should probably be one sentence. Either that or take ...