RowanHowler

Hello, I liked this story so far! I love the misery of Noel, which you set up in the first paragraphs. The atmosphere is shrouded and then pierced with light ...

Hello, Not much to comment on on this chapter. It's very well written, as always, and the characters are easy to like or dislike, depending on which one it is. ...

Hello, the rip in her skin was covered in brown ringlets and the gaudy pearl noose that dangled from her neck.- I didn't quite understand the first part of this, ...

Hello, “It’s been very… tiring.”- maybe "“It’s been a very… tiring day.” ACK! NO! Don't hurt Tanner! he he. I think maybe the danger level form an elemental should be ...

Hello, Interesting that in a magic school the headmaster tries not to use magic. I like it :-) where his students could simply be children.- maybe "teenagers" since most of ...

Hey, I really enjoyed this piece. It was vivid with imagery and each line was concise and clearly well thought out. I think you made each word count and the ...

Hello, Good job on the story so far! I do so love the characters and the focus you put on them. The plot is not at all clear yet, but ...

Hello, Excellent continuation of the story. I think the part of your writing that shined the most is its subtlety. You are able to add characterization with simple gestures or ...

Hello, I think "brown-eyes" is an unlikely thing to be called out of hand, unless it is a regular nickname. Eyes that are brown don't usually draw much attention, unless ...

As soon as I read the first paragraph I was hooked and I believe it is because you characterized the boy without even mentioning his name or using dialogue. The ...

Hello, I would say this is not long enough or detailed enough to catch my interest. From an intro I usually expect about a chapter or at least a page. ...