Ross

Me likey too! Love the character's attitude.

This was an amazing story! You left me at a major cliffhanger. PLEASE write more!

I liked this story. But the ending struck two different tunes. One was CLICHE and the other was WOW! Interesting...I can't decide which. But I liked how you kept the ...

OMG! I loved the poetic beginning and then the way that you introduced the trouble. 'They weren't in their usual spots' Pretty damn good. And then I liked how you ...

Nice work! The only problem I had was the guy saying 'F--k' at the beginning.

Thanks, kitty15! I did most of what you suggested and I must admit it does flow much easier. Thanks!

I like the third-person thing too. And I like how you related the cold to Edward. Bellimiso...I don't know if that's right...

I like the simplicity (I HATE HATE HATE a LOT of elaboration) and how you got the meaning across using a metaphor. I just plain like it :)

Wow, Flame11! I was surprised to get your review. It is kind of about predjuice and racism and all that, but mostly it's about money classes (upper, middle, lower) and ...

It was okay, but I do think that you could have used more condencesing language and more imagery--examples of what you are talking about.

Oh my gosh! This almost made me cry...and I'm a guy. I loved the subject. I could imagine the music (heavy on acoustic guitar, a light drum background) and I ...

I agree with Life Is Sexually Transmitted. You should just keep it out. Otherwise, not bad for a start. This beginning has been a bit overused, but still...good

Wow! I loved this poem. I loved how you displayed the imagery SO SO well! It is perfect. :)

I do think it is a bit drawn out. I think if it was shorter, it would have a bit more impact. I like the prose and the subject--although reading ...

I agree with some of the was a bit dull. I think that you need to sail us through to when it happens and maybe have a better hook to ...