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Re: Final Choice.
This is good! In a lot of poems I read, the rhymes and flow seem forced or fake, but in your poem, it actually flows. I know the poems about ...
Aug 21, 2013 -
Re: What Makes You Feel Orange
Haha, I love this! It's so simple but short and gets the point across. I love the idea, that sometimes teachers ask stupid questions and sometimes people look too deep ...
Aug 21, 2013 -
Re: Sorry, Songbird
This is beautiful! It's not corny, it is poetic, you did a great job conveying a message, I really love it (and I rarely like poetry). I liked how you ...
Mar 18, 2011 -
Re: Covered By Him
She sits, Stiffened in fear Guarding what's left of her heart Holding herself together Before she falls apart. She hides her face from those watching She hides herself from those ...
Dec 18, 2010 -
Re: For His Life
It's a piece with mystery, but possibly too much. It's also a bit bland. You never feel a connection to the man. Also, you say his eyes burn with anger, ...
Nov 30, 2010 -
Re: Bertalonies
That was more of a sci fi thing, and maybe it could have used a 12+ rating. IT was very interesting at the begining, but you should have should the ...
Nov 11, 2010 -
Re: Spirit Walker: Prologue
This is my review of part of your story. It was very interesting. I cowered farther back into the trees as a group of horsemen came into view. No women ...
Nov 7, 2010 -
Re: Process
hi, this is beautiful! My mind, It is conflicted. I can't tell left from right. And I need some time to process , what has been brought, recently, I'm not ...
Nov 7, 2010 -
Re: First Roller Coaster (revised)
Butterflies flew through her stomach and up into her throat. She managed to swallow them down. Her throat was tight with fear, making it difficult to swallow. These lines sound ...
Oct 26, 2010 -
Re: Freckles
I loved it! It was so cute! my only problem with it was She didn't get a glimpse or even a sneak peek of what your face may bring. A ...
Oct 23, 2010 -
Re: Hello's and goodbye's.
I'll tell you straight out, I didn't bother to read the whole thing. I disliked the guys name. Jacob is already a popular romance character, You might want to change ...
Oct 23, 2010 -
Re: At the Louvre
I liked the first poem better than the second. I think it had a more poetic feel about it. My only question is why do you write "we" sometimes? When ...
Oct 17, 2010 -
Re: An Ocean of Mystery
I liked it. I do not have many crytisysms except that after every line you put a comma and then go on to capitalize the next sentence, and in the ...
Oct 16, 2010 -
Re: Why People Are Schizophrenic: A Myth
Interesting view on being schizophrenic- Much like how chinese and native americans would make myths on why there was winter or why there were mountains, stuff like that. Although I ...
Oct 16, 2010 -
Re: Garbage (GOYLBAWS Contest)
It's good-I liked the details you put into the first paragraph. It was going great, but I have some things to say about the murderer part. It was well written. ...
Oct 15, 2010
