An Ocean of Mystery

by rainbowbubble

Published October 17, 2010

I lie beneath the curving waves,
With this mystique world,
Beneath the depths of another,
It consumes the emotions deep within,
Allowing this oneness with nature to begin.

Submerged deep below,
Is a tranquillity of coral,
Dressed to dance with colour,
Wilting with the waves,
Nature’s cradle of life.
Swaying so free,
Like flowers of the sea.

A torrent rainbow of fish,
Each so enticing on its own.
Alluring in countless victims,
With their beauty so divine,
Let yourself shimmer,
In the bottomless blue,
For a mere memory is all that’s left of you.

The beach my sanctuary,
The damp warmth of the sand,
Graciously welcomes me,
As I let the sleepiness of the ocean’s roar,
Envelope me as I search for more...

--feel free to criticize it, as I'm entering it in a poetry competition at school :D so I need all the help I can get !
*rainbowbubblexo

Comments & reviews · 3
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Kwantack
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Kwantack commented Comment · Oct 17, 2010

Beautiful! I love it! It's so calm and relaxed, which isn't found in many other pieces. Great job!

Roadnevertravelled wrote a review Review · Oct 17, 2010

I liked it. I do not have many crytisysms except that after every line you put a comma and then go on to capitalize the next sentence, and in the first line in the last stanza you might want to add an I between beach and my, but It works without the I.



My tongue must tell the anger of my heart, or else my heart, concealing it, will break...
— Katherine, The Taming of the Shrew