Published December 18, 2010
She sits,
Stiffened in fear,
Guarding what's left of her heart,
Holding herself together,
Before she falls apart.
She hides her face from those watching,
She hide herself from those here,
She stays locked away,
Even though no one can come near.
She cut herself off,
and cast everyone out,
She is alone,
And will never come about.
.....
He stands,
Guarding her heart,
Covering her with all that he has,
Holy feathers adorn his wings,
And so his wings clothe her,
Keeping her away from her hurt,
Sheltering her.
He needs to be close,
Needs to touch but no longer can.
He is broken just as she,
He is broken as long as she,
He will see to it that she is healed,
But until then he will cover her,
Be her protection,
And watch over her as she cries.
(This is pretty much two poems together, that's why the scheme changes. I'm not sure on some of the words on the top half, So if you have any suggestions for it, I would be forever grateful! Review brutally 
Thanks!)
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140,638 Literary Works • 673,575 Reviews
Its a good poem, I like the image throughout. I also like the rhyming, and how you end the poem (the last stanza)
A really good friend and my first love passed away suddenly from an unknown brain tumor last May, 11 days after his 18th birthday. I was getting a memorial tattoo for him drawn and the guy drawing it asked me to write about the tattoo like I was writing a poem, he didn't know I was a writer at the time, but this is what I came up with. The first part is about me, and the second is from his perspective, but I could never say its how he feels, only he could do that.
thanks for all your praise and tips
That was soooo beautiful.
Hey!
I found it very touching and very sweet.
I would like to know your inspiration for this!
Your writing is very captivating and very creative.
I hope to seem more like this from you!
Again, I loved it!
Thanks for posting it!
This was a great poem
This poem really reached out to me, your word choice was exquisite
There wasn't much to correct, so a very good job
-sachipachi1
He is an angel to her, someone that that passed away. Someone she loved. That's why he has ho'holy feathers adorne his wings' . Its kind of cryptic, I know but that's just how it came out. Ill have to revise the second part, the first paert was rewritten but I just couit was hard for me to rewrite the second, I know how I feel and I am the girl, but I I don't know how he feels, I guess I never really will... sorry for the typos, I'm on my phone and for some reason it won't let me go back...
I really love this poem! I think that the first poem what better than the second, though. The rhythm was smooth, it was in stanzas, and it was a breeze to read. The second was mushed together and the rhythm got lost a few times. Aside from that, it was a very romantic poem
~Lena~
Awesome poem!! I love it. It almost reminds me of a book series that I love. You did really well!!
Keep writing!
Alzora
I think the two poems combined works great. First it describes a girl, then she's being protected. It's very sweet. There are a few jarring lines here and there, such as "She stays locked away, Even though no one can come near" that sound a little bit awkward. Overall though, the poem doesn't really seem to take the reader anywhere- perhaps if there was some reason for her suffering that we could relate to, the poem would become even more profound.