Rei

This story sound eerily familiar.

As for the title, I know you said you weren't sure about it. Not particularly creative, but it suits this one poem just fine.

It was okay, but I found it lacking in . . . I dunno. Something.

An okay first draft, but I think you need to make it more concise.

I could tell it was intentional. I just didn't like it.

It's a fine first stanza, but it ends way too soon. I really found myself wanting more.

At the beginning yuo start too many paragraphs with the same word

The comment I had about your otehr poem aplies here as well. It's okay, but it didn't really grasp what you wanted to say very well.

I was only suggesting removing two words.

It's okay, though I didn't feel like you captured the feelings properly.

I'm not offended. Just annoyed that you can't accept the fact that you didn't make hur injury enough to be realistic. I know its a long way from now, but ...

The fact that you used the word stupid proves to me that you might need a slight attitude adjustment. I never used that word, nor was I trying to change ...

You really need to adjust your attitude, darkmoon. Listen to what people tell you and think about it. Such a minor injury is not that dramatic, and it is unrealistic ...

It's really very bland. For one thing, you make statements but don't back them up.

Huh? What were you trying to accomplish with this piece?