Rayneisthename

I liked this a lot and you definetly have some talent! I only have one minor problem with this poem. In the second to last stanza you said that you ...

I think that maybe this poem would be better if you wrote it in the past tense. Example: Remember me as a pale ghost A milky, misty fragrance Don't forget ...

This was a really good poem I only have one suggestion. When harvest time has just begun, I fade into the golden sun. I didn't think the "and" worked here ...

I kinda liked the idea of this but maybe this could be the beginning or ending of a story. I didn't really think that it would fit with the whole ...

I have to agree Erinaghdra in saying that it is a little vague and the ending was kind of rushed. I liked the beginning because I understand the meaning but ...

Well, this certainly is different from anything i have read before. But that's a good thing. You kind of lost me in the end there when she came to the ...

This is absolutly wonderfull, but the line about the cake was a little random. This really speaks to people because we have all had that friend or boyfriend that has ...

Okay, there was a lot to reveiw and edit in this but I think Flow pretty much hit the nail on the head so I won't say to much. This ...

I was afraid for my kids and being that I was a teacher I was also afraid what some of the students could do to them if I made them ...

the end was suprising to me, only because i had meant to tell you that i thought the meaning behind this poem was that she was the one hurting herself. ...

Well, Quackermoo this is certainly a very dark poem. this is the kind of things that i myself write. i enjoyed the deepness and darknativity(is that even a word?) of ...