PsychicNinja

Hi! First of all, I really liked this. I just don't like the last line. It sounds kinda off and doesn't make much sense. Perhaps it's best if you come ...

It all seems like a good idea...but it seems a little dull and undescriptive to me, like the others have mentioned. If you want to write about Writer's Block, I ...

Konbanwa! I shall crit as I go. ^_^ Its been two years since my brother, Kohaku's death. I think this is just a simple error. But first of all--"Its" should ...

Hey Maki-Chan. Critting as I read: With a steady pace Maki walked down the snow covered path to her cabin. You need a comma between 'pace' and 'Maki'. Each time ...

Yay! More of Alice's lyrics! XD This one was pretty good, Alice. I like some of the rhyming you have in there. My only problem is the last line. ...I"m ...

Hey. Here to crit. Like always. Btw, I always thought that Maki was a guy's name...? There was snow already on the ground, covering up the path from Maki's cabin ...

'Kay, Maki-Chan, I am here again to crit as I go; She entered the room looking sad, almost depressed. Hm...I think you should find a better word than "looking". Try ...

Hey. I guess I'll read on.... So if you’ll behave like a bad girl- more like a monster. I’ll take your life myself!” Somehow you need to connect these sentences. ...

Hey. I'm sorry it took so long. I was...too much into Bleach. =P Momo entered a forest nad Haha, just a simple typo here. XD She ignored her wounds,which had ...

Konnnichiwa, Maki-chan! Critting as I read: “ Now, now Momo you should know better then trying to go outside.” An older woman explained to the 8 year old Momo. This ...

Hey Max! I was browsing the forums when I saw this, so I decided to read it! I thought it was good, even if it was a tad bit repetative. ...

Konnichiwa, Maki-chan!! Today's the day I'll crit your second chapter!!!! Again, critting as I read: As Momo fell, the wind caused her to close her eyes. This sentence sounds too ...

Muahahahaha!! A Naruto fanfic to crit!!! :shock: Beware: My Naruto fanfic reviews are suuuuper long. XD I'll crit it as I read: Momo heavily breathed. Shouldn't it be, "Momo breathed ...

I liked this one. If I let go, even a little bit. For some reason, when I think of 'holding on' and 'letting go'...'a little bit' doesn't quite fit there...maybe ...

Guess who's finally gonna crit your stuff???? lol Critting as I go, bro: But before he neared the Ghosts, a group of Banshee fliers came to intercept him and his ...