Pinkratgirl

You may want to shorten “A punishing blow across the face causes her tiny and fragile body to drop.” a bit because to me it disrupted the flow of the ...

“…people shouting, out whole system has fallen.” “out” should be “our” unless you are talking about what the people are shouting, in that case it should be written as “…people ...

“If you would have told me one year ago today…” It would sound better if it was written as “If you had told me one year ago…” I would remove ...

“…they are wallpapered and decorated and furnished so that you'd…” Replace the and between “wallpapered” and “decorated” with a comma. “…use the bathroom, or eat.” I don’t thin

“I had just been allowed to go back to work for the first time in three months and I was not at the least overjoyed.” I had difficulty reading this. ...

The passage of time is way too fast in this. You should go into more detail about the rehearsals especially. The way this is written gives it the feeling of ...

With the way that you write, I would change your main character's personality a bit so she's not saying things like, "gonna" and "sup" which don't fit in with the ...

Most of this review is just suggestions to make it sound better. “I took my time leaving the classroom, unlike most of my classmates. Walking slowly so that I would ...

This is beautiful. I loved the whole thing about it turning out to be herself that was holding the gun. This literally brought tears to my eyes. Its so simple ...

I liked the setting with the silence and the old wooden bookshelf. It gave it that kind of rustic/steampunk feeling, if you know what I mean. "“What it it wasn’t?” ...

This was a beautifully dark poem. From what I understand the main character is slowly staying from a lethal wound. I know that the no capitalization was intention but I ...

I haven't read the other chapters but now I really want to! This was awesome. I liked the words that you used; they were not basic but they also were ...

Okay, I'm going to be honest here; I had no idea what you are talking about. I'm sorry, but it may just be a little too advanced for me; I ...

I enjoyed reading this piece but I do have a few things you should work on the would make this story even better! First of all, I would give the ...

This was awesome. I hope you continue this story line it shows a lot of promise. I was wondering who "Beelzebub" is, is he the devil? If he is you ...