PenguinAttack

Nooo. Like. Emotional impact through language. "i really want her to read what i wrote down" could have been 'I want her to read what I write./Read this/something about a ...

Hi! I think you misunderstand my review! I don't mind the poem, It's fundamentally okay. It can just be better. Why else are we here than to improve ourselves and ...

Hey! It feels like a diary entry because despite the third person narration, you've written this piece almost as a stream of consciousness work - that is to say it ...

Ah fair enough! You should give co-writing a go sometime then! It's fun, even if it is a bit hard. :D Welcome to the site, Aubrey!! :D

Hi! I'm glad you liked my poem. :) Learnt is definitely a real work, it's a different form of "learned" and I like it much better. I often capitalise my ...

If it was meant to be an essay and not a poem, you need to reconsider the form. :D

Yess! omg yes! You've absolutely shifted the entire feeling of the poem. It's sharp and cutting now and I'm hella into it.

I agree, losing the checks bit will help it a lot!

Hahaha omg I wrote this when I was a little tired. I was talking more about the sense of rambling? there's a good 'being overwhelmed' thing going but sometimes it ...

Hi BeeGirl, Thanks for such a lovely response to my poem! I'm so glad that you feel touched by the poem, that you can feel my intent while reading it. ...

Hi Monsters, what a lovely thing to say! emeraldfox is right in that clawed merely means having claws. The bird is not inside but on top of, the claws could ...

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this and it connects to your mind and heart! That's what poetry is all about. :) Feel free to read any of the poems ...

Your stamp of approval makes all the difference.

Hi Madelyn, welcome to the YWS! Thanks so much for your lovely comments, I'm so glad you enjoyed reading the poem. There's not much behind it, I write a lot ...