Elevator Music

by PenguinAttack

Published January 5, 2022

E - Everyone

I can do anything!
poster on the wall
dripping this elegy
on to the thick carpet
seems endless,
an escher of bricks
and kindy hand paintings.
a room designed to make you
Feel
one way or the other about
Something
all the while the mannequin
drones across the desk
or falls asleep in slow motion
and you're left picking at clumps
of misbegotten confidence
still mashed into the floor.

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Rook
Review
Rook wrote a review Review · Jan 7, 2022

Heya empole!
This was such a cool sketch of a scene, a classroom I presume, and the type of inspirational posters that just sort of melt into the background. it's so interesting to explore the way that a tacky, insincere motivational
poster can warp in our brains to transform a space. Like how elevator music is the same, a set-dressing that's supposed to make a depressing box more bearable with its pleasant, inoffensive noise, but that bland optimism just grates on us more. Thats how I read the poem anyway.
I got a bit tripped up on "kindy," since I kept reading it as "kindly" and it just didn't make sense in context. I have never heard kindergarten refered to as kindy, but I assume that's what you meant. I wonder if that's an Australian turn of phrase.
I think the part that had me the most confused was this mannequin. Is it the teacher and this poem is from a child's perspective, or could it be from the teacher's perspective and the mannequin is the child or a piece of equipment or a parent or something else? What drones in a classroom other than a teacher or a machine? What falls asleep in a classroom but a student?
And this is a separate question, but what happened to break the confidence? I don't need a lot of detail for that but even just knowing who's talking and at what point in that stage of life they're in might help the reader or some pieces together.
I really like this poem and the meaning I was able to find in it!
Feel free to let me know if I interpreted it how you'd intended or if I missed something!
Always a pleasure to read your poetry :]
-Rook

<3 Yes kindy is kindergarten, which is super super common to say in Australia.

Fun fact: When I was younger, I was in the counsellor's office talking, cause I was having some random crisis that wasn't a crisis at all. And the counsellor literally fell asleep! While I was talking! I assume I was terribly tedious, but that is what this poem is about really.

I think it's okay to take away from it whatever works for you, because the scene isn't specific necessarily for anyone else. It's funny, because I read the lines and I can SEE this room, so clearly, right down to the colour of the carpet and the stifling half-heat, but that is because it is my room. I am happy that for you it evoked the right sense of frustrated patience.

User avatar
BookHorseGirl Review
BookHorseGirl wrote a review Review · Jan 6, 2022

This poem was absolutely incredible. The writing is wonderful; I love the flowing rhythm of the piece, and though it is well enough described that it creates a stunning image in one’s head, it leaves room to add your own touches and make it more relateable — I clearly saw my year three classroom. More so, I find the theme absolutely wonderful, and deeply relatable. Confidence; something we all strive for, yet it is so difficult to achieve. I and many other people so often feel like the speaker, so reading the poem brought solace and relief.

Random avatar
YP@17 Comment
YP@17 commented Comment · Jan 6, 2022

Hi, good day/night,
This is really nice poem,
This happens to many of the people just not able to move up from comfort zone.
Starting of poem is really great.
I am not reviewer, just as a reader
I really enjoyed the poem.
Best of luck for next work.
Have nice day.

User avatar
LTD_MINER Review
LTD_MINER wrote a review Review · Jan 5, 2022

Nice! This makes me feel like I am watching a slow descent into the darkness of a human mind. The powerful yet vague imagery really brings it all together. Poems aren't meant to be closely guarded and maintained within the bounds people place on them, they should be expanded and allowed to grow with the author and the art. Keep writing!

creeperfeverdreams wrote a review Review · Jan 5, 2022

This was a nicd short poem to read.Sometimes,it does feel like we are going nowhere admist our wants and desires.It will feel like being stuck in an elevator that leads to nowhere and you’ll end up with nothing.Also,the beginning of the poem has the speaker speaking with such confidence and then it dies down.Unfortunately,that happens to a lot of us.I hope you have a good day and night.



“Rise like Lions after slumber In unvanquishable number. Shake your chains to earth like dew Which in sleep had fallen on you— Ye are many—they are few.”
— Mary Shelly