PenguinAttack

Hey there. Kay, so you’re right about the plot, it isn’t amazing. But I think maybe if the story was longer you might have something a little more. True, I ...

Hola, dear. They call themselves, The Night; < No comma before “The” Terrorists, thugs, thieves and murderers joined to an elite force, to watch over the days that one by ...

Hey Ant. ^^ I’m cool with critting your work, any day. You might want to try reviewing more in any case, it’s always a help and you don’t always want ...

Conrad! Hello. ^^ Sorry this is a little late. Okay, I like this, it’s really interesting and I think you could make something longer out of this – are you ...

I should be knocked out for taking so long! So sorry, Clo. Okay, well I’m afraid this is going to be terribly general, my dear. I can safely say that ...

Hey there xxfourthelement, I don’t think we’ve met before, nice to meet you. ^^ So you’ve asked for a “rip-to shreds” review... and I’m actually rather inclined to indulge you ...

I'm going to be terrible a moment and ignore the other critiques I've been asked to do, to talk about this for a moment. First of all: You wrote! Squee ...

Hi Jamie! I'm soooo sorry this is so late! I'm shocking and you should fire me. ^^ But! I have my answer for you. I think your characters are slightly ...

Okay! So, Boy, massively general comment going on here – I do more and more of them don’t I? ^^ Well, okay. I’ve seen this before, I’ve watched it, I’ve ...

Hola Ashy! “A pained scream tore through the silent night in the town of Zeinta.” < A good hook. Good first line. “A second scream tore broke the quiet minutes ...

Glad! Hi! I’m so sorry this has taken me so long to get to! What I’m going to do is a general plot/storyline whether I liked it or not thing. ...

Hey Mohinder! So, everyone has pretty much covered all my issues – one bad thing about being so terribly lax about getting my crits done, really – but I’ll see ...

Hi Heeeeeero! ^^ Well, *suggestions* are in pink. Pretty, pretty pink. Blood, bones and feathers, fall from my back. I'm not that angel anymore < To connect this to your ...

Hi Eimear! I’m sorry this is so late. Various things were getting in my way, aye. ^^ But! Let’s get this critique going: The night sings sweetly, it dances toward ...

Moonlight dances in the water, while < Place “while” on the next line. midnight makes its approach. A draft glides through the trees, and < Place “and” on the next ...